Selfish
by Guard of the Heradi
Summary: A simple divorce case changes everything, and teaches Alicia that sometimes selfishness is precisely what we all need. Includes own characters with their own bi-story. Three-part story.
1. Part I

Selfish

Part I

Alicia Florrick sat precisely upright in her chair. The true professional, clearly listening carefully, her perfectly made face not showing the slightest detail of her thoughts.

One would not have thought by looking at her that she'd had far too little sleep of late, that she was operating on strong coffee and granola bars, and that she hadn't genuinely smiled in... far too long.

But in the meeting, with her client seated next to her, she was the perfect Junior Associate, giving just as much effort into what had appeared at first to be a standard divorce procedure as she would into a murder trial.

The problem was not her client, or the client's husband. The client, Kazue Natsu-Harris, was in her late twenties, a former teacher. Her husband, Liam Harris, was a couple of years older, an esteemed chef who owned his own Michelin stared restaurant in Chicago and was looking to open more restaurants across the country. Mrs Natsu Harris was formerly a British citizen, born to a Japanese mother and English father, and had gained her American citizenship after studying at the University of Chicago where she'd met her husband, marrying him not long after graduation. They had no children, had been married for approaching eight years, had separated nearly a year ago, with her moving out to an apartment not far from her husband's restaurant, at which she worked informally as his assistant manager. As awkward as the situation already was for them, the problem was not the couple. The couple were polite, amicable, though clearly stressed and unhappy individuals.

The same could not be said for Mr Harris' legal representation.

Darren Blythe was the worst kind of lawyer in Alicia's books. The man was clearly milking the situation and his client for all it/he was worth. Alicia took a guess that Blythe was trying to tote up his billable hours, and was doing all he could to reap expenses. Her client had complained about the amateur private investigator who was clearly following her every move.

That wasn't the only think Mrs Natsu-Harris had to complain about.

"He's so unpleasant to her," Alicia ranted one night.

Will frowned, lowered the beer bottle from his lips.

They were sharing pizza again in a rare moment of peace. Their phones were deliberately switched off, Will's jacket and tie were hanging up in the corner, Alicia's feet up on the coffee table, BBQ hickory steak pizza demolished between them. This time it was Will's corner office, the pizza bought by Alicia, waving a white paper napkin as a flag. They had a friendship to repair after she'd discovered Will's second missed call during Peter's press conference. Will did tell her coolly some other time would be more appropriate, until she'd reminded him that BBQ steak used to be his favourite at Georgetown, and then, to further convince him, opened the box to let the smell do all the convincing. He'd grinned despite himself, and they'd found themselves reminiscing. They talked about work, steered clear of Alicia's growing appearances in the media for her husband's campaign.

Alicia didn't want to talk about that any more than Will did.

"How so?" He asked. He'd met Mrs Natsu-Harris ten years ago, at a BBQ. She was a college freshman, working at the party as a babysitter to the kids, and of all the snobs at that party she was the only one worth talking to. She'd had opinions and voiced them with a liberal confidence, an ambition to live her life fully. Years later they met again at her husband's restaurant when she served him and his date, her recognising him in only a few seconds. The date he didn't remember much any more, but he'd remembered the food, and how friendly she was again, and so always asked for her if she was working when he frequented the restaurant. Liam he had met on a handful of times when Kazue dragged him out of the kitchens to introduce them. He'd promised her that if she ever needed a lawyer to give him a call, joking at the time. Then one night she sat down at his table whilst he tried not to get spaghetti sauce over his work papers and told him that she was thinking of getting a divorce. He'd put his fork down, made some calls, and asked Alicia to handle it for him, trusting no one else to be genuinely sensitive over the matter in the way Kazue deserved. She was a friend and a good woman: she deserved the best help.

"He keeps attacking her on everything. He's trying to insinuate that she lied about Bose to Liam," Alicia sighed.

"The student who claimed she'd hit on him?" Will asked, incredulous. Alicia nodded glumly. "I thought she filed a restraining order against him because he wouldn't leave her alone after she resigned?"

Alicia nodded again. "She did. But Blythe is making out that that was just a smokescreen, or when she filed it she'd gotten bored of Bose. He's trying to shake up Liam's views of her so he'll contest the settlement out of sheer bitterness. Not that we know what Liam's views are anyway, because Blythe doesn't let him breathe yet alone speak during our meetings." Alicia groaned with frustration, irritated just by thinking of the unpleasant man. "Did you know that Blythe actually fired her from Liam's restaurant and ordered her to not call Liam? She doesn't call him Blythe any more, she calls him The Wanker," she added, the corners of her mouth twitching up as she imitated Kazue's British/American hybrid accent.

Will chuckled. It was an absolutely terrible imitation. He couldn't help but think that he could understand Blythe's tactic, as underhand and unpleasant as it was. He'd heard about Bose from Kazue herself, when he asked her why she worked for her husband. She had loved teaching, she'd gotten a job in a suburban high school teaching history, but after only a couple of years one of her students, Harry Bose, started harassing her. She complained about it to her colleagues, warned her seniors about Bose, and told him that she wasn't interested. The senior turned bitter and told the principal that it was the other way round, that she had been pursuing him, and got vocal about it. Eventually the principal asked her to 'take some time off' until the incident cooled down. She read between the lines, and left altogether. She tried to get another post elsewhere, but no school would hire her when they heard why she left. Eventually she gave up, finding that she actually liked helping out at the restaurant, which was doing well, very well. She resented it, but the fight had worn her out, and she lost her passion for teaching.

If Will had been trying to undermine her, he'd have gone for the same thing too. Except he wouldn't be rude about it, he did have some sensitivity. "What do you think?

"About Bose?" Alicia crossed her hands decisively over her stomach. "I believe her. Kalinda double-checked it all, to be on the safe side. She did speak to her colleagues, she did speak to her seniors. Kalinda even asked some of Bose's classmates, and none of them believed him either, they're all certain she found Bose as repulsive as they did. He went on to do the same thing to some of his lecturers at UCLA. It was simply because his father was friends with the governor and said he'd make trouble for the school. She even told Liam about it as it was happening, she didn't keep secrets from him." She shook her head, impressed. "There's no dirt on her. None. She moved to the States legally to study as far from her divorcing parents as she could, and stayed because she was happy here. Blythe has nothing, and he knows it. The truth does have some power over lies."

Will smirked but kept his mouth shut: truth having power over lies, his ass. Alicia glared at him, knowing what he was thinking, but kept quiet too. He was glad actually, that Kazue had been telling the truth about her past when they had shared news. She was a friend outside of the world of law where friends' loyalty cannot be called upon or trusted. He'd even learnt that some of those friends' integrity was not all that it should be. Lawyers tend to be married to their jobs more faithfully than their wives: it was refreshing to trust someone, and not worry. Bottles of wine had loosened his tongue in that restaurant plenty of times, particularly recently, and she'd never breached their trust and sold out his secrets to the highest bidder. She could of, but she didn't. He'd always admired her for it, and so didn't always need the bottles of wine. In return she'd confided about the Bose incident, and the good days of her marriage. He remembered her teasing him for his faith in bachelorhood, warning him that one day he'd know for sure, just like she did, and jump, just like she did.

And now she was sinking, her certainty crumbled.

"Just keep shooting Blythe down when he starts stirring things up," he advised. "If he's really unpleasant to her just pull that face on him."

"What face?"

"That face you pull when someone really, really pisses you off."

She chuckled. "Why?"

"'Why?' Because it'll frighten the living daylights out of him, boy's got no balls." He grinned as she laughed again. "He's only going to get worse when he actually addresses her claims, just don't take his bullshit if you don't have to."

* * *

Will was right. Blythe had gotten worse.

"You want what?" He spat across the table, making Mrs Natsu-Harris flinch with disgust out her assumed passive silence.

"$50,000 a year, for the maintenance of her apartment and in return for her years managing Mr Harris' restaurant, until she can match that with her own income," Alicia repeated calmly, her soothing voice attempting to reduce the sudden rise of tension coming from across the other side of the table. Mr Harris himself merely looked lost and confused, his eyes darting over every face in the room. Will, sitting on Mrs Natsu-Harris' other side, continued to study Liam, wondering, not for the first time, why he'd hired Blythe in the first place.

Blythe snorted, interrupting Will's study to frown at the man. Eugh. "Dream on, Mrs Florrick. Cash settlement maybe, this no."

Will frowned deeper. "What is Mr Harris' objection to paying regular alimony?" They'd been over Kalinda's examination of Harris' finances: they knew that he could afford to pay far more, given his success, but $50,000 was what Mrs Natsu-Harris had asked for, even the condition that her husband could cease payments when she was making her own living. A very modest sum, considering that when she lived with Liam their annual expenditures had at one time been close to twenty times that amount.

Mr Harris opened his mouth to speak, but his lawyer spoke for him. "The problem is that my client doesn't owe yours anything, given that, as faithful as she might have been to my client's business there is question to her faithfulness to their marriage -"

Mrs Natsu-Harris' face transformed with anger and she sat straight up in her chair, as though she was getting ready to launch herself across the table to throttle the despicable lawyer. But Alicia put a hand out to the young woman, steadying her.

"There's no pre-nuptial agreement pledging fidelity Mr Blythe, so your aspersions are neither relevant nor helpful to these proceedings," Alicia said tonelessly.

Blythe grinned. "Indeed. What is relevant are financial contributions to the marriage, and since Mrs Natsu hasn't worked for five years -"

"Again, Mr Blythe, not relevant," Alicia interrupted, her tone turning frosty. "Mrs Natsu-Harris has worked for her husband's restaurant for the last five years. She has contributed and supported him all the years of their marriage."

Blythe visibly recomposed himself. He didn't like being interrupted. "Fine. That still doesn't mean that she is entitled to my client's future earnings. My client is however willing to offer a one-time cash settlement to draw the matter to a close."

Once again Will noted the confusion on Mr Harris' face before he turned to Blythe. Just how much was the trash Blythe was sprouting actually coming from his client?

"How much?" Alicia asked, her poker face on. Will caught the slight wary tone to her voice. They were finally about to find out what they had to bargain with.

"$300,000." Blythe said, smirking directly at Mrs Natsu-Harris. She merely raised an eyebrow, as though he was no more impressive than a piece of gum stuck to the heel of her shoe. Alicia raised an eyebrow too.

Will voiced the thoughts of the women instead. "That's it?"

The smirk on Blythe's face melted into innocence. "Yes. She may keep her own personal effects still in my client's house, any shares she has in the restaurant that are in her name -" None, they were jointly owned. "- Her car, the Toyota Prius -" Blythe's mouth twitched in a smirk, as though unsurprised that she would own an environmentally conscious car. "- And of course any momentos that she would like to keep." The innocence remained, as though it was a generous offer.

Harris was worth several million dollars that were modestly multiplying. Their penthouse alone, which was now for sale, was worth close to a million dollars alone, and it was under both their names. Will and Alicia shared a look. Their minds were easy to read, simply from the single though in both their heads: 'this is bullshit'.

A thought they both, simultaneously, turned on in full force at Blythe in a joint glare. The lawyer shrugged. "Fine. $500,000."

Gardner and Florrick continued to stare; still not good enough. In fact, Mrs Florrick was starting to look annoyed. Not a pleasant sight...

"Alright, alright." Blythe sat back in his chair and remembered the figure he'd 'agreed' with Mr Harris be the maximum offer. Actually Harris had been happy for a completely equal split of all assets, but Blythe had piled reason upon reason for giving as little as possible. Easier to get a cut that way. Some mess with percentages that even he didn't fully understand. "$1 million."

Gardner relinquished his stare, a bit more satisfied. Mrs Florrick however did not. "And the penthouse?" She pointed out. "It's registered in both their names."

Blythe nodded, held his hands up slightly. "Half the money from the sale." Blythe noticed the slight dipping of Gardner's head with approval. Mrs Florrick however was still not done.

"And the shares?"

Blythe's hands came down. "She can have half the joint shares. Mr Harris will still need to have majority shares though, so we can agree to a price on the shares."

Now Mrs Florrick looked more satisfied. $1 million plus approximately another half from the sale of the penthouse and the shares were a much better deal, potentially a better deal than the alimony. It was definitely better for Blythe, which was why he was smirking triumphantly. His contract didn't include cuts of regular alimony.

Alicia turned to her client, waiting for a response. This was a good offer, though not what Mrs Natsu-Harris originally wanted. The money from the sale of the penthouse was a given, she'd worked hard to make it a home. The cash settlement was a fair sum, Mrs Natsu-Harris wasn't interested in milking her husband for all he was worth. The shares she wasn't interested in owning, she was quite happy to retain joint ownership to help her husband's business. The restaurant was Liam's baby, and she was proud of him for what he'd created, but she'd worked hard to help him. She still cared about his future.

Which was why she had asked for alimony with conditions instead of a cash settlement. She was looking for work now, and the alimony mean that she could live comfortably though modestly until she could support herself. She didn't need a big cheque. She knew her husband's finances better than Kalinda even. He didn't need to pay that much money in one stroke, she didn't want to make his life hard.

All that she managed to communicate with one look to Alicia, who turned back to Blythe and told him they'd meet back in a few days.

* * *

"What do you think she'll agree to in the end?"

They were back in Alicia's office, shoes kicked off again, beers in hand. She was slouching in her chair, her legs stretched out, toes almost brushing with his legs. She looked worn out. Will thought, having now watched Blythe in sleazy action, that the beer was well needed today. It was worse than standing against Cary; at least Cary was, more or less, a good kid and a good lawyer. Blythe was just thoroughly unpleasant. Kazue had left straight away, saying she felt sick and needed a shower to get rid of the slime, clutching her stomach as she went.

"I don't know," Alicia sighed. "I don't really know what to advise her either, she's coming back in tomorrow to discuss options. She was never interested in a cash settlement. They never held on to that much money, they were always reinvesting their profits, it never went into their bank accounts to gather interest. She keeps trying to talk to Liam, but Blythe's doing a good job of separating them." Alicia took a sip of her beer, contemplating the situation. "I like her actually, Kazue. She's down-to-earth. Just wants a job to keep her occupied that doesn't test her sanity, a mortgage, and saving for vacations. She told me she wants to go back to Fiji for a break, she went just before she started college, always said she'd go back regularly and then never did. Apparently the Fijians know how to relax properly."

Will grinned. Vacations sounded good. "I hope we get this for her." Alicia nodded, agreeing. They were lawyers: it was their job to get the best deal for their client. Then he thought of Liam Harris and Blythe and wondered.

"She really cares for him still, doesn't she?" He asked Alicia. She nodded, smiling understandingly. "How did they end up here then?" He had tried to ask Kazue once, but she'd avoided answering properly, saying it was for the best. Now, that didn't seem like a very adequate answer. At the time he'd just written off his lack of understanding as a 'married thing'. But if there was one thing that wasn't confused about Mr Harris, and was as obvious as day, it was that he clearly was in love with his wife still. Far too many longing looks and the sure signs of a man who was miserable because he missed someone he loved.

Alicia shrugged. "They just stopped being happy together." Will frowned. That didn't explain things any better than 'it's for the best'. "It happens sometimes," Alicia said quietly.

"But it definitely wasn't anyone else?" Will asked, still not understanding it. Guess it really was a 'married thing'.

Alicia shook her head. "No, nothing like that. Kalinda looked into both of them, to be thorough," Alicia rolled her eyes. "Kazue hasn't been interested in anyone, though she's had guys interested in her when she's gone out with her girlfriends. And Liam's clear too, never ever slipped up." Alicia suddenly smiled. "In fact, Kazue was his first girlfriend."

Will's eyes widened. "What?"

Alicia nodded, grinning. It sounded so sweet. "They were dorm-mates at college, and he asked her out the day they moved out to different apartments. Apparently he didn't want to complicate things for them when they were living together. He'd been in love with her for months."

Will smiled. He remembered a certain Georgetown law student who had had similar thoughts about a certain fellow law student, but who then never said anything, someone else got there first. Bad timing. He could just see Liam Harris at that age, finally free to ask out the girl of his dreams.

Except now, a decade on, he was now clearly unhappy, being dragged through a divorce with a lawyer who gave all other lawyers their bad name, his soon-to-be-former wife caring more for his interests than that same lawyer. Once again Will wondered how on earth they ended up that way, clearly not from bad timing.

Alicia's phone buzzed on her desk, and she groaned quietly in protest at the interruption. Earlier in the week she'd had a visit from Eli Gold, respectfully requesting that she keep her cell phone on at all times. She'd reluctantly agreed, had even answered Gold's calls when she could, and let her husband go to voice mail. She was at work, if he needed to talk to her it could wait 'til she got home. Requests such as 'how do you work the microwave?' were put through by Zach or Grace, regardless of whether or not they could answer the question themselves.

This call however, she was surprised to see, was not from either Gold or her husband or her children.

"Kazue, is everything alright?" She answered.

Even Will heard the distress on the other end of the line, and frowned with genuine concern as Alicia's eyes widened with alarm. "What's wrong?" He asked.

Alicia lowered her cellphone. "She's pregnant."

* * *

"How long?"

Kazue blew her nose with a tissue. "Not long, I'm a couple of weeks late." Fresh tears streamed out of her eyes.

They were at her apartment, sitting on stools at her kitchen island, just the two of them. Will had wisely opted to not come round too, fearing how hormonal it could get. It was a nice place, big kitchen, a cook's kitchen, with pine tops, a large gas stove and a library's worth of cook books. A pregnancy test sat on top of its box on the counter, the positive sign clear to all. Neither woman needed to voice the fact that, whilst pregnancy tests could be inaccurate, they didn't indicate phantom pregnancies, they only missed real ones.

"I've been so stressed out lately, I didn't think... I didn't remember..." Kazue stammered, trying to excuse her lapse in judgement.

Alicia laid a comforting hand on Kazue's shoulder. "What happened?"

Kazue took a deep breath. "He came round after we shut up one night, to catch up properly, we never get to talk much at work, and we... just..." She trailed off and hung her head as more tears came. "I completely forgot to, you know, take care of it afterwards. I wasn't on the Pill. But I thought it would be okay, I thought I'd got my maths right. And then that absolute twat Blythe started being an arse and it slipped my mind." She took another deep breath to calm herself.

Alicia however stared at her in confusion. "It's Liam's?" Who else fit the description of 'he'?

Kazue looked at her incredulously. "Of course. Whose else would it be?"

Alicia looked suitably chastised, but she wondered too. _How did they end up here then_? Will had asked. She'd asked Kazue why she was filing for divorce when she took the case on, and Kazue's explanation 'we're just not happy together any more' had been accepted at the time. Alicia could even sympathise. But... now, she wasn't sure that was it. When she'd slept with her husband again, was it to scratch an itch - like Alicia had, she had to admit to herself - or was it more than that?

But there were now more important issues.

"What do you want to do?"

* * *

Liam Harris was miserable. Yet another day stuck in the loathsome company of Darren Blythe. Trust his mother to beg him to hire some rising hot stuff son of one of her neighbours. Kazue never did like her mother-in-law much.

"Just how much longer is your client going to keep us, Gardner?" Blythe asked scathingly. Will Gardner, sitting calmly across the table, arched an eyebrow. "I do have other appointments after this."

Liam tried not to raise his own eyebrow. Nice to know just how 'important' a client he was.

Gardner peered at his watch, as did Liam. Kazue was only a couple of minutes later, that was nothing. Mrs Florrick wasn't here yet either. "Don't worry, Mr Blythe, they'll be here soon."

Just then Mrs Florrick opened the door, and held it open for Kazue.

She looked tired. Really tired. Her eyes were bloodshot, she had bags underneath them, she looked pale, and her hands were fidgeting over... over...

Kazue walked up to the table and placed something on it. Something white, and long, and life altering.

Liam stared at the plus sign on the pregnancy test for a few seconds, deaf to his lawyer's stammering. Finally he slowly turned.

"Blythe." The lawyer - finally - shut up. "You're fired."

* * *

"I can't believe this is happening."

Kazue smiled weakly. She couldn't either.

Liam grinned with happiness. "This is incredible! We're going to be parents, everything's going to be fine!" Kazue's smiled vanished. Liam blinked with confusion at her immediate reaction to his words. "But... this _is_ good, isn't it? You do want to keep it, don't you? You... you don't want to get rid of it?"

Kazue shook her head, to his relief. "No, no, I don't. I... I couldn't do that." She smiled weakly. "You know how liberal I am, but when it actually comes to it... I don't want to choose that."

Liam looked confused still. "Then... what's wrong?" He shifted closer to her. "We're going to be a family!"

Kazue sighed. "Li... I still want the divorce."

Liam's face fell, and Kazue's heart broke for him. "I... I don't understand..."

Kazue took a deep breath, thought over her words carefully. "Li, please, listen to me, and please understand. We were arguing all the time. And then when that died down, when we stopped fighting, we were both still unhappy. That's why I moved out. But I asked for the divorce because I found I was happier on my own."

Liam's face started to clear. Behind his eyes she could see him remembering. Even sympathising. He did not contradict. But his eyes did water. "Li, I love you. You know that. And I always will. But it's not marriage love any more. You're a good, wonderful man, but we're not good and wonderful any more. We were, for a long time. But we haven't been for a while now. And I don't think we will be again." She took another deep breath. "I don't want to bring our child into that. I don't want our child to be the answer to our problems, to lock us together like that. I _do_ want to be a good mother, and I _do _want _you_ to be a good father. I want you and I to be good parents. But I don't think that's the same as being a good husband and wife."

She paused and studied Liam's face, hoping that he understood what she meant, how she felt.

"I know it's not conventional, and I know it'll take some working out. But one thing I think we are still good at is being a team. We're a good team, and we'll figure it out. The three of us will be okay, we'll be alright."

Liam stared into space, and then slowly nodded, his face blank. She waited patiently. Finally he took her hand in his and faced her.

"I love you too." He told her quietly. "I should have told you that more."

Her eyes filled with tears too, and she shook her head. "You didn't have to. I knew. We both did." She squeezed his hands. "No regrets. None."

He squeezed her hands too, nodding. "Are you sure about this?" She nodded too. She was certain. She'd had time to think about this, before this hand happened. Now that she was pregnant, she could see things even clearer. "Okay." He nodded, tears streaming down his face. "Okay." He shook her hands in his. "I'll work hard. I promise. I will be there. I will try. I want us to be good parents too. _I promise_."

They hugged each other, holding each other for a long time as they cried, whispering their promise to each other, rocking themselves. They stayed like that a long time, undisturbed as Will and Alicia filtered traffic away to give them privacy. A while later they went back up to Will Gardner's office and told Alicia that they were decided and they wanted to draw up an official settlement together, and that they would not be needing Darren Blythe's services any further.

Later they took separate cabs to their separate homes, promising to meet in a couple of days for Kazue's doctor's appointment. Everything was going to be okay.

* * *

"I really didn't see this coming."

They were back in Will's office, with more beers again. This time they both sat on the couch, feet up on the coffee table, still going over the draft for the Natsu-Harris settlement. They were going to sort out some kind of dual custody of the child once it was born, with its primary residency with its mother. Liam had agreed to help Kazue considerably financially until and after the baby was born until it went to school, as well as set up a trust fund for the child. They had a lot more to discuss for the settlement, and a lot more besides. But for the most part, that wasn't any of Will or Alicia's business, it was theirs.

It was the friendliest divorce either lawyer had ever seen in their entire careers. And Will was still baffled by it.

"I mean, I kinda both can and can't get my head round it. I guess I can understand that they don't work as a couple any more but still care about each other. But there's other bits that I can't figure out." Will rambled.

"Like what?" Alicia asked, curious.

"Like why did they sleep together again, after being separated for so long, even after the divorce papers were filed?"

Alicia shifted on the couch uncomfortably. "She told me she missed... she missed being touched. She felt like being reckless. It was only sex," Alicia justified. She couldn't help but sympathise with Kazue there.

Will nodded. The 'only sex' bit made perfect sense to him too, though in the context of the Harrises it felt out of place. But then, he'd never been married.

"And why did they get married in the first place?" He remembered all the stories Kazue told of their student years, of being drunken asses who'd do stupid reckless things together. He remembered all the stories of Kazue going out partying with her girlfriends at bars and clubs, drinking and dancing without a care in the world, glad to once again enjoy her twenties, not having to worry about getting home to Liam. She'd been happier, more alive. More like the twenty-something she was, rather than the responsible wife. He could picture perfectly why Harris had asked that early: he was in love for the first time in his life, they'd been together for a bit, and youthful romance doesn't always have the best judgement. Graduation would have loomed, and the threat of parting with it. Rings on fingers have a tendency to make paths merge. "Why did she accept? They were so young." Kazue had always said it was the dumbest fantastic thing she'd ever done in her life.

Alicia smiled. Her own ring gave an advantage: the wisdom of having gotten married herself when she was young. But not that young. "Because she loved him, and she wanted to make him happy, I suppose." She smiled good-naturedly at him. "Good women don't break hearts by saying no to important things like that."

She trailed off into thought. That wasn't true.

_"May I ask you something?"_

_"Sure." Alicia replied and sat up a little on her stool._

_"I know about how your husband cheated on you," Kazue started apologetically. Alicia looked down at her lap uncomfortably. "Did you forgive him?"_

_Alicia closed her eyes. And then she told the truth. "No. No, not really. I tried to, for the kids, so that we could all get along. But no, not really." She sighed. "I can't trust him any more."_

_Kazue nodded, understanding. "Are you happy with him?"_

_Alicia stared at the young woman in front of her. "No. We used to be, like you were with Liam. I thought we were happy right up until I found out about the... I guess we're weren't that happy after all."_

_"Then why do you stay with him?"_

_Alicia turned away. That was harder to answer._

_"Kids?" Kazue asked. Alicia nodded. "And your husband's campaign? Afraid that it'll scuttle if you abandon him?" Alicia nodded again. "And that the kids won't understand?" Alicia nodded emphatically, her face beginning to screw up with pain. Yes. She was petrified of that, that they wouldn't forgive her for breaking their family apart again. Grace's feelings about her father's actions had been so mixed, and Zach had been so supportive of his father. She didn't want to make things worse for their family._

_"I'm sorry." Alicia looked back at Kazue. She looked genuinely apologetic, genuinely sympathetic. It was refreshing. "I'm sorry to ask. It's just... I'm about to do a selfish thing. I want to... I need to know why you chose not to do the same."_

_Alicia thought calmly for a moment. And then she answered truthfully again. "I think sometimes we've just got to do what we need to do. You need to do this."_

_Kazue smiled, nodded in agreement. And then she frowned. "And you?"_

And me... Alicia had thought about that for a long while now. 'What about me?'

She was tired. Soul tired. Tired of going home to find campaign people working in her kitchen whilst she made dinner for everyone. Tired of trying to make it clear to Peter that she still didn't want him in her bedroom. Tired of her mother-in-law sugar-coating his betrayal, trivialising his actions that had hurt more than anything Peter had ever done to her. His actions had trivialised her, had trivialised their marriage. She couldn't forgive that, and she'd given up trying.

She was also getting tired of being afraid of what change would do. Of whether Grace and Zach would not forgive her if she officially gave up on their father.

When it really came to it, she didn't care about Peter's campaign. That was his business, not hers, or even their family's. She was tired of appearing at his side when she didn't even know if she was _really_ on his side. She didn't trust him still, regardless of what the court was ruling over his case now. She didn't care. She didn't owe him her caring for the campaign either. She was a good lawyer: she was good at seeing through people's silver tongues.

_Show me the plan_.

And Will. Will...

His voice mail ending things had stung, had disappointed her more than she had even expected. And then she came back to work, had seen his attitude towards her and wondered. It was not as cool as she'd anticipated, or even cool _how_ she had anticipated. It was as though he'd been disappointed too. So she got curious, and discovered the second missed call from him that night.

And then wondered just how far Eli Gold was prepared to support Peter's campaign.

But bringing it up would change everything. And she wasn't sure whether her life was ready for that.

_I think sometimes we've just got to do what we need to do._

She suddenly envied Kazue's courage, envied that, as much as she loved and cared for Liam, she'd done what she needed to take care of herself too and was prepared to live with the consequences without regret. Kazue knew full well what she was about to try, knew what was at risk. But rather than folding and taking the easy way out, returning to her husband for a fresh start as a family, she had crafted her own destiny. It was going to be hard for her, and she was petrified that it was going to fail or be a dreadful mistake. But not scared enough that she wasn't willing to try. This was a modern world, and Kazue wasn't going to completely be a single parent.

Kazue Natsu-Harris had not been happy. Now, she was fighting for her happiness.

And she was winning.

Alicia Florrick wasn't happy either. She wasn't lying when she told Will that she needed her job, she did. But not just because of the bills. It was hers; her efforts, her work, her passion. She had fought for that, and now, could she not fight for her happiness in the rest of her life?

"Alicia?"

Her mind returned to Will's office, to find him gazing at her with concern. Then she noticed his hand on her shoulder. "Are you alright?"

She stared down at that comforting hand on her shoulder, up along his arm, to his face. To his lips.

The good wife decided to be selfish for once.

She shuffled across towards him, placed her hand on his cheek and kissed him. He reacted instinctively, almost familiarly, until she pulled away. "I'm sorry I didn't return those calls," she whispered.

He frowned for a moment, then his face cleared with comprehension, and then he grinned. "Better late than never," he said, meaning it.

And then they didn't say anything for a while.

* * *

"So, what's a good plan?"

She smiled, ran her fingers through his messed-up hair. He had faint lipstick smears, and in his nervous happiness he looked so like the Will she'd remembered from Georgetown, that same boyishness. He was still a good kisser, she was pleased to note, better with age and far less alcohol than their student years.

He shifted a little on the couch, slipped a hand under her shirt over her stomach. The buttons on their shirts were undone, his cotton under-shirt soft against her skin, and his thigh felt solid between hers. Their flies were still zipped up. Alicia was not a quickie in Will Gardner's office. She was more the woman to take home, ravish in his bed, and still be up with at dawn.

Alicia shifted to face him. She thought carefully over her words. None of this was going to be easy. Change never was.

"I'm going to talk to Peter," she said. She felt Will's grip on her tighten ever so slightly. "Explain what I want."

Will stroked her hair softly and swallowed nervously. "What do you want, Alicia?"

"For us to be done." She noticed the tightening of Will's jaw, realised he'd immediately assumed that 'us' meant them, and quickly added, "Peter and I. I want Peter and I to be done." She stared at his chest, something other than Will's relieved face. "Our marriage is over, has been for a while now really. I want to start acting like that's the case." The relief on Will's face was swiftly replaced with sympathy at the pain in her voice. In that moment, he grew up a little, seemed less boyish. "It's hard, Will. And it's going to get harder," she admitted quietly. "I have my children to think about, and Peter needs me for his campaign. It'll mean being patient, being the 'good wife' a bit longer."

"Okay."

She met his eyes, studied his face. "It's not going to be easy, Will. It's not just parent-teacher conferences, it's -"

"I'm certain, Alicia."

Alicia faltered to a stop. He really did look certain. Like a man stepping up to the mark.

"I do get it, Alicia," he said calmly. "Peter will want to kill me. Zach and Grace might want to help him. Even if they don't feel homicidal, best case scenario is still going to be tense, for all of us." He tucked her hair behind her ear. "I'll be there. I'll wait." He smiled at her understandingly. "I know that it will take time and patience. Even after Peter's campaign things might still be very messy for all of us. But for you, _of course_ I'll wait."

She smiled and leaned forward to kiss him. He kissed her back, holding her close. Then suddenly he pulled back. "I'm not going without this though," he added, gesturing between the two of them, grinning. She giggled, kissed him again. "No, seriously, I'm a guy, I'm not _that_ patient." He kissed her back, grinning. Then he pulled away again, genuinely being serious. "No, really. I get that out there, to the rest of the world, we're not together. But here, when it's just us, I want it to be just _us_." He stroked her cheek. "No pretences between us."

She nodded. She liked that plan. She kissed him again, pulling his weight back on to her.

They didn't resurface for a while again, not pretending.

* * *

The door closed quietly. It was late, very late. The kids were asleep already. Peter Florrick, candidate for the State Attorney, got off his stool and headed to greet his wife.

The sight of her stopped him in his tracks. She looked... different.

"Alicia, honey, you're back late, I was getting worried," Peter said gently.

She hung her coat up in nervous silence, and finally he picked up the signs. Bruised lips, creased skirt. She looked like a teenager back from making out with her boyfriend behind the gym.

"Peter, we need to talk."

Peter Florrick went numb. He'd hoped to God that he wouldn't hear those words from his wife. He blindly followed her to his bedroom, sat down on the edge of the bed at her invitation, and only really registered that he'd done any of those things when she closed the door behind them. He'd just been shut in a room with the consequences.

"Peter, this isn't working. _We're_ not working. I... I can't forgive you, Peter. You messed up. You can't make up for that. And you know what? You haven't even really tried. And I don't want to try any more. I told you this before, but you didn't listen. Well, now, you're going to listen.

"We've got a lot of hard work to do. We'll need to tell the kids, soon, no secrets. They're... I know that this is going to... going to hurt them. So, I'd... I'd like it if you stay with us, help us all adjust for the time being. We can prepare for the future together, make sure we stay a family. But after the campaign, I think you should find a place for yourself to live, somewhere where the kids can see you whenever they like, and we can start formal proceedings then.

"I don't want things to be messy. I won't do anything to tarnish the campaign, I will be there for you. But once that's done, I'm done too. Understand?"

Peter lost self-awareness after that. Later he would remember a mess of emotions. He cried, out of guilt and shame and regret. He got angry, accusing Will as a reason for them separating, and the horrid jealousy when Alicia admitted to wanting to start a relationship with him, but he'd bottled his green fury when she asserted that she would be doing all of this eventually anyway, regardless of Will, when she had the courage to evoke such changes. And then the numbness sunk in when she reminded him of Zach and Grace. He remembered promising that he'd help her talk to the kids about all of this in the morning.

Finally she gave him a hug - the most physically affectionate she'd been to him in a while - and left. He'd tried to sleep. Hearing the front door open and close again however kept him awake all night, failing to stop himself imagining his wife in bed with another man.

* * *

"Hey."

Alicia woke up slowly and reluctantly as she was pulled into familiar arms. Familiar lips kissed the back of her shoulder, and she felt a familiar heartbeat at her back. She turned and smiled as she recognised Will's happy, sleepy face, and forgot for a moment all the things women worry about the morning after: how does my hair look, do I have bad morning breath, how do I look without my make-up on right now? He kissed her tenderly, smiled as she moaned contentedly, and wrapped the covers around them a little tighter to ward out the Chicago cold.

She looked so beautiful, bared like that.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

Alicia slowly grinned, reluctant to swell his ego by telling him just how good she was feeling right now. He grinned back, reading her thoughts. It had actually been a legitimate question. When they left the office he'd told her that she could come to his place if things turned sour with Peter, or for any other reason. She hadn't actually said anything when she arrived, she looked too emotionally drained for words. So he'd just held her for a long time, glad she was there, sad that this couldn't be easier for her. Then one thing had lead to another, and here they were.

And then she saw the clock, and suddenly felt less than good. 11am. Even the kids would be up by now on a saturday. Alicia had promised to talk to the kids with Peter over breakfast. They'd be wondering where she was...

Will read her troubled face and told himself not to feel bad about it. "Don't worry, okay? They love you, it's going to be fine." He kissed her cheek. "Do you want to take a shower before you go? I can stick some coffee on."

She smiled and nodded. "Thank you."

A little while later she came out fully dressed, hair damp, smelling of his shower gel and looking more nervous than Will had ever seen in his life. The dream-like quality of it all faded in an instant, and it hit Will just how _real_ this was. Everything - _everything_ - was going to change. And it was really, _really_ scary. He put his arm round her and they sipped their coffee in silence, her cheek resting on the softness of his bathrobe.

"You were right, by the way," Alicia suddenly said, breaking the silence.

"Hmmm?"

"I could do worse."

Will frowned for a moment, and then, remembering what he'd told her when they'd gone to the hotel to get phone records, he laughed, the tension broken. She grinned as he squeezed her closer and finished off her coffee.

"Call me later, tell me how it goes?" He asked. She nodded, kissed him before heading towards the door. He followed her out into the hallway and waited with her for the elevator. When the doors pinged open, he held her hand. "If there's anything I can do, anything, tell me, okay? I'll help, I promise."

_I'll work hard. I promise. I will be there. I will try... I promise._

Alicia flung her arms round him in gratitude. In that moment, she absolutely believed him: it was all going to be alright. Eventually. As she parted she resisted being a complete fool and saying something stupid, of the three word variety, and headed back.

From that moment on, the term 'home' entered a state of ambiguity.

* * *

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own The Good Wife, and am not making any profit out of this fanfiction. Kazue Natsu-Harris, Liam Harris and Darren Blythe are my own creations.**

**Part II is still currently being drafted, and will tie this short up. I hope that people reading will enjoy this just as much as I enjoyed writing it, and that all those reading find themselves well.**

**Many thanks for reading, please review!  
**


	2. Part II

Selfish

Part II

"So, how's it all working out?"

Months on, Will Gardner found himself sitting in a very nice restaurant opposite a woman over a decade his junior, who was single, and looked absolutely _stunning_.

"Should you be here right now?" He asked, teasingly. "You look like you're about to pop any moment now."

Ms Kazue Natsu-Harris laughed and stroked her ballooned stomach. "That's because I _am _any moment away from popping. That's why I asked to meet here, so Liam's close by. Besides, he knows my appetites these days, he said he'd do something off the menu for me."

"I mean, Jesus, is that one kid in there or five?"

Kazue scowled good-naturedly at him as he chuckled at her. "Just the one. I think he's going to play for Man U one day though, the boy doesn't stop kicking." She flinched, wincing. "See? He knows we're talking about him." She picked up her glass of water and smirked. "You didn't answer my question by the way."

"Which was?" Will asked innocently, perusing his menu again.

"How are things going with Alicia? You can put the menu down, I know you know the menu off by heart, Liam hasn't introduced the new courses yet." Will put the menu down with a grin, caught out again. "Seriously, how is she?"

Will paused before answering. "She's alright." He looked down at the table. "It's been difficult for her."

Kazue nodded. "How long have you been together?"

"Remember the day you told Liam about the bump?" Kazue nodded, smiling. "Since then."

Kazue's eyes widened. "You managed to keep it quiet that long?" Will nodded, trying not to smile. She whistled, impressed. For the last month the press had been all over the 'scandalous' affair between Will Gardner and former state attorney Peter Florrick's wife. It was receiving mixed receptions, now that Peter was gaining a little more favour, remembered as the favoured state attorney over Glenn Childs. She was being accused of betraying her husband, or, alternatively, getting her own back for her husband's infidelities. Will was portrayed as the womanising boss sticking his nub in the office ink. It didn't matter that Peter made a press statement defending Alicia, stating that he and Alicia had been quietly separated for months, and that he even wished her and Will every happiness (Will doubted that), that he thanked her for her continued support during his campaign. It hadn't stopped the press from hounding them all, including Grace and Zach for comments. But when Lockhart and Gardner served every member of the press that had spoken to or been remotely near the two teenagers for invasion of privacy, both kids remarked on a distinct lack of reporters or photographers. Random strangers stopped asking what they thought of their father's campaign too, and filming their answers.

It hadn't made the kids any less bitter about the situation though. Zach, upon hearing that his parents were going to divorce, and that his mother had just started an affair she had no intention of ending, with her boss no less, had stormed out to his room and slammed the door. Grace watched as her father went off to try to calm her brother, and then, surprisingly calmly, asked her mother whether she'd lied when the photo of Will and Alicia at the hotel was leaked by Roscoe months ago.

"No, I didn't," Alicia told her. "We were just friends then, and we were just friends when that photo came out. But just recently... things changed."

Grace was quiet for a moment. Then, "Does he make you happy?" Alicia smiled, and nodded. "Happier than Dad does?" Alicia's smile died, but she nodded again. Grace looked down, her face looking slightly guilty, as though realising how complicated the situation was, and how hard this all was for them. "So, what's going to happen now? Is Dad going to move out?"

Alicia remembered when Peter was almost released on bail before, remembered how her daughter had asked where he would sleep, somehow more aware that her mom wasn't any more comfortable with her dad's cheating than she was. Intriguing how the younger of her children was proving the more perceptive over the state of their family. "No, he isn't. He's going to stay with us until we can sort out what's best for all of us."

"And because it looks better for the campaign?" Grace asked, her tone slightly disapproving.

Alicia smiled patiently. "Partly, yes. But mostly for us. He's only just come back home, and I don't want to separate him from you and Zach, that's the last thing I want to happen. After the campaign he's going to move out, somewhere close by, so you can both see him as often as possible. But that's a while yet."

Grace nodded. Then, "Would Will move in when Dad moves out?"

Alicia thought for a moment over her words. "I don't know. We'll see. It's very early days. That would depend on how he feels, how I feel, and how you and Zach feel. But I don't know, honey." She paused. "Grace, Will isn't going to take your father's place. Your father is your father, no one else. You haven't met Will before, have you?" Grace shook her head, and then stared into space a little, deep in thought. "Well, I hope, when you do, when you feel comfortable with that, that you'll get along. But again, there's no rush."

Whatever went through Grace's head in that moment became quickly apparent a few days later. Whilst her brother continued to come straight home from to school to lock himself in his room away from his parents, Grace took a detour. Will recognised her immediately from Alicia's photos in her office, and was somewhat surprised when his secretary said she wanted to see _him_. Grace had one question: "Do you love my mom?" He didn't hesitate: "Yes." Grace had stared at him for a long moment, trying to decide whether or not to trust the lawyer. But he held her stare, unashamed. Finally she crumbled. "Don't hurt her." He'd smiled at that, nodded, and promised her he wouldn't. Then, as it occurred to her that she'd never even met this guy before and she was asking these kinds of questions, she suddenly became very shy, out of her element. He smiled understandingly, said her mom could do with a break, and showed her to Alicia's office. He asked her about school, and then gave her a quick tour of the layout, saying who worked on what, what her mom's job as a junior associate actually meant, and wisely stepped out when Alicia asked her daughter what was wrong. A few minutes later Alicia came by to ask if she could give Grace a lift home, promising she'd come back.

"How's the case coming along? Ready for tomorrow?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I think we're good to go."

He smiled. "Take the rest of the day off, I'll call later."

He didn't meet Grace again until Alicia asked him to pick Grace up from school one day. She was in court with Diane, Peter was in the middle of a press meeting, Jackie, her mother-in-law with the brilliant ring-tone, was away, and Zach was... well, being Zach, going round to a friend's house. It started off about as awkward as a funeral, and then she asked him what her mom was working on. It was something to talk about. She was a smart girl, curious about the finer details of things, about who the people involved were like. Later that night Alicia came round with a smile on her face for the first time, and thanked him.

"What for?"

"She said it was okay with her for you to come round sometime." Alicia told him, beaming.

"I thought we said that wasn't a good idea, what with Zach still..." He trailed off. There wasn't really a good way of describing Zach's distant attitude.

"I know," she said. "But it's a start."

To date, he had yet to meet Zach. He had seen Peter, soon after actually.

He and Alicia were responsible adults. So, when Peter discovered that she was on the Pill again, he unsurprisingly saw red and paid Lockhart and Gardner a visit. Will, his head bent over Alicia's notes for a case in his office, mistook the approaching footsteps for Alicia's for a split second too long, so when he looked up to see who it was, he saw a fist. He was so shocked he didn't even hear Peter yell inanely at him to stay away from Alicia. He did hear Alicia come in, wonder aloud what Peter was doing there, took one look at Will, and yelled at her husband to get out. From the floor, he watched and listened as Alicia and Peter yelled at each other. She yelled at Peter for hitting Will, pointing out his face was already bruising. He yelled at her for being stupid enough to sleep with him, that he didn't deserve her, that Peter didn't deserve to be treated like that. She yelled right back that she hadn't deserved it from Peter either, that it wasn't up to Peter to decide whether Will deserved her or not, she did. And she had decided.

Peter hadn't had a retort for that. So he glared at Will one last time, and left. Alicia helped Will back up to his feet, put an ice-pack on his face, and struggled to not cry.

"I'm so sorry..."

He lowered the ice-pack incredulously. "What for? You didn't hit me. Doesn't hurt that much." Okay, that wasn't true, but it wasn't helpful either.

"Not for..." She pointed at his face, raised the ice-pack back to his jaw. "I'm sorry I dragged you into this."

"Alicia." She looked up at him guiltily. "I volunteered for this. I should have volunteered for this a long time ago."

That's what set the tears running. As he wrapped his arms round her, Will didn't need to wonder what the tears were for. One extreme emotion is often followed by another, until eventually you calm down again. All the hurt, all the pain, all the anger she'd felt over Peter's actions had properly boiled to the stuff with nothing to hide behind. But after the anger's gone, all that's left is hurt and pain. And guilt. Guilt that her actions were hurting her children, hurting her husband, and now even hurting Will. He empathised. She'd always been a much more caring person than he was. Things mattered to her, very often the right things. The only thing that really, _really_ mattered to him these days was her. So, by connection, he cared about the things that hurt her.

When she'd finally cried herself out he ignored her apologies again. "It's fine. It'll heal. And then I'll go back to being just as handsome as I was before." She burst out laughing, said something that sounded like 'you stupid ass', and hugged him again. "Anyway, I should be thanking you for absolutely destroying my ego, I've never had my character defended by a woman before." She laughed again into his shoulder. "Thanks for lying though."

She pulled away, confused. "About what?"

"For saying I deserve you."

She frowned. She'd never known Will be insecure before. "I wasn't lying."

He shrugged. "Well, either that or you're a stupid ass like me too." She laughed again, smiling genuinely. "Seriously though, thank you."

She raised an eyebrow, thinking he was still teasing. "What for now?"

"For still being here."

Alicia didn't go home that night. She called Grace to say where she was, apologising. In the background she could hear Peter stomping around, muttering incomprehensibly. Grace sounded almost scared.

"Are you alright, honey?" Alicia asked.

She could almost hear her youngest nod. "Yeah, I'll be alright. I'm gonna go to bed soon anyway. Come home tomorrow though, okay?"

"I will, I promise."

By then Alicia already had some spare clothes in Will's closet, and in the morning they put some concealer over Will's bruise. The only person who suspected that there was definite truth to the long-burning rumours was Kalinda, who took one look at Will's face, asked innocently what happened to him, and later sniffed Alicia. "In future, use your own shower gel."

Peter still hadn't cooled off from it. It angered Will sometimes, how hypocritical Peter was being. And it angered him even more because he knew how much it hurt Alicia too. It was stressful for her, returning home from work to look after the kids, to try to keep their family together, only to be met by both her husband's ice-cold attitude. He wouldn't look at her, and when he did it was to glare. There were only so many times she could snap at him to stop acting like a hypocritical bitch, only so many times her anger could flare up at the injustice of it. It was depressing her a little. As much as he loved it when she chose to stay at his, reminding him of the joys of spooning, Will knew how important her children were to her. It stung, reluctantly, how important they were to her, knowing that he would never be that important to her, but he always tried hard not to show it. He knew how immature it was, so he did his best. He suspected that she suspected herself, being far more observant than he was.

And then everything flipped. A photo of the two of them standing outside his front door one Saturday morning, standing inches apart and just smiling, was leaked to none other than Duke Roscoe. Roscoe, obviously unbelievably happy to have even more dirt on his 'favourite' lawyer, actually did some proper research. Will was warned by his neighbours the day before that someone had asked questions about how often Alicia came by. Not even Kalinda could find out in time who are done the questioning and why, the answer got millions of viewers. And Will knew he couldn't do a damn thing about it. It was too late, and Roscoe chosen his words carefully, insinuating rather than flat out accusing with little to no evidence. There was no arguing about the photo: they looked like a couple in love, no denying that one. Whilst Will got even more angry than he had the last time he had encountered Roscoe, Alicia stared at the screen dumbly. The same questions went through her mind: had the kids seen it? How would they feel about this when they inevitably did? When would the first calls to her office asking for comments for other news stations start coming in? How would this affect Peter's campaign?

She wandered blindly to her office, unmistakeably wanting some time to herself, and found Eli Gold staring reminiscently at the spot where her couch used to be. That's when she got pissed off. This was not the order of the answers to her questions that she wanted.

"What?" She snapped. She was done with pleasantries for today.

Eli Gold stayed quiet for a moment, clearly having to rethink his strategy. The calm Mrs Florrick was easy to handle, if impossible to manipulate. An angry Mrs Florrick was neither easy to handle or to manipulate. "I take it you saw Duke Roscoe's show this morning then?"

She glared at him for a response, and then withered and sank into her chair, tired beyond tired. "Let me guess," she began. "This doesn't look good for Peter."

Eli sat in the spare chair and faced Alicia. "No, it doesn't," he said frankly and unsympathetically.

She glared at him again. "What do you want me to do?"

"You?" Eli suddenly smiled. "Not a damn thing."

Her glare vanished in her confusion. "I... don't... what?"

"Peter has prepared a speech," Eli informed her. "We've had it ready for a while now, we're all prepared. I must say, I'm surprised we've had this long to prepare in fact." She glared at him again. "Just don't make any comments to the press. Don't deny, don't confirm. Don't say anything about Roscoe, you might to warn Gardner about that. Tell the kids to not comment to anyone either, including any friends in case it ends up being tweeted again. Later today Peter's going to call a press conference and make his speech. And after that..." He narrowed his eyes, debating over the next. "Stick to your original plan."

She actually did a double take. "What?"

He smiled, this time with the tiniest, practically non-existent hint that maybe he did sympathise. "If you want to divorce Peter after the campaign still, then..." He shrugged. "Who's to stop you?"

She frowned. "Why do I sense you're being too nice? What's the catch?"

Eli chuckled. "Just carry on being the good wife. On camera. Maybe not as often now though, it'll look a bit too obvious. And don't, absolutely don't argue with your new beau anywhere where you might be seen. Even if it's about work. Or whose turn it is to get milk. Or whatever you want to argue about, just don't in front of anyone. Spoils the romance of it all."

Alicia rolled her eyes. Then she frowned. "What's Peter going to say?"

"You'll see."

When Alicia told Will about Eli's instructions he immediately closed his mouth and glared into space. He'd just spent the whole time ranting to Diane, who was starting to look bored and was immensely relieved when Alicia returned. He took a deep breath to calm down, and then asked the same question Alicia did: "What's Peter going to say?" She'd shrugged, clueless. "That doesn't sound good." Then he frowned. "I don't know actually, does it?" He then groaned into his hands. He did Law, not PR.

"It'll be alright," Alicia told him with a smile. She pried his hands away from his face. "Peter knows what he's doing."

Will nodded. "It's all going to change again, isn't it?" She nodded too. "Still here." She smiled, nodded again, squeezed his hand. He stared at their joined hands with a smile for a moment, and then glanced out of his office window in time to catch a huddle of the staff gossiping outside in the corridor. A huddle which immediately dispersed when they saw him looking. He smirked. "Well, one thing hasn't changed yet: the grapevine's still going strong."

That evening, they spooned on his couch at his apartment and watched Peter's press conference. They'd come home to find his answering machine had run out of space, bloated with messages from all forms of media asking for comments, interviews, all kinds of in-depth scoops. After deleting them all he unplugged the phone and cracked open some wine. It had been a long day, and he was expecting it to get longer.

Then...

"Good evening. Today I wish to make a personal announcement.

"Earlier today, allegations were made that my wife Alicia has been unfaithful to me. On the contrary, Alicia has always supported and continues to support myself and our children, and for that I am extremely grateful. I thank her for standing by me even as my failings to our marriage were made public. She has never let me down, and I wish I could say the same to her. As to the nature of these allegations, I am not willing to comment on the nature of the relationship between Alicia and Will Gardner, further than that they have been friends for many, many years, and he has supported her through her work and as a friend when I was not able during the recent stresses on my family. For that, I thank him.

"As to the current status of my relationship with Alicia, I regretfully announce that she and I are separated, and have been for some time. This was not made public because I wished to protect my family from further controversy, and I am disappointed in Mr Roscoe's actions that have forced my hand in order to defend my wife. Now that we are separated, her relationship with Will is no more my business than it is that of the press, and I wish her every happiness. As to our living arrangements, I am grateful to Alicia for postponing seeking separate homes so that I can spend time with my children during this period of adjustment. I ask that the press respect my children's privacy during this time. Any questions should be made to my office, thank you."

As they watched Peter disappear relatively promptly from the screen and the channel cut to the studio for comments, Alicia's phone rang.

"Not as bad as you were expecting?"

She smiled, her head still resting on Will's chest. "You could say that, Mr Gold."

"Peter's here. He'd like to speak to you."

Alicia sat up. She sighed. "Alright, put him on." She took Will's hand as she waited.

"Alicia?"

"Hi, Peter." She squeezed Will's hand as he instinctively tensed.

"Hi." There was a long, uncomfortable silence. "Did you see my press statement?"

"Yeah, just now." She paused. "Thank you, Peter.

Peter was silent on the other end for a moment. "I'm sorry. I've let you down these last few months, behaving... well, you know." There was a pause. "And umm... tell Will I'm sorry for hitting him that time."

Alicia smiled despite herself. "I will."

"Okay." Another uncomfortable silence. "Eli wants to talk again, I'll give you back to him." Another pause. "Are you at home?"

Alicia blinked. "No."

"Ah." This time the silence was tenser. "Is anyone with the kids?"

"Jackie's with them."

She heard Peter chuckle quietly. "I'm sorry about that too, that must have been an interesting conversation."

It had been. Jackie had been taking every opportunity to lecture her daughter-in-law about fidelity and faithfulness to one's marriage, and Alicia had simply gotten used to ignoring her when she started now. All the same, it still grated on her nerves. "I'll come home soon, see how the kids are. Are you heading home soon?"

"Yeah, just heading to the car now. I'll see you soon."

The next voice Alicia heard was Gold's. "So, what do you think?"

She smiled. "It was nicely done, Mr Gold."

"Why thank you, I thought so myself," Eli said, self-congratulatory. Then he immediately started talking business. "Okay, so here's what I want you to do with Gardner: drop the secrecy. Now that the world knows you're leaving your husband it will look better if you're leaving for happy reasons, romantic reasons, rather than bitterness and nastiness over Peter's screw-ups. So tell Gardner he can be as smoochy as he likes, just make it look like Disney not porn."

Will, eavesdropping next to her, choked on a sip of his wine and started half coughing-half laughing. "Thank you, Mr Gold, I'll be sure to pass on that description to him," Alicia said dryly. "Eli... Thank you." She hung up and slapped Will on the back. "Lovely, isn't he?"

Will, still unable to speak properly, just carried on chuckling and nodded. "Disney, right?" Will said, when he could breathe properly again. He chuckled again. "I can do that."

Alicia soon left to see her family, for once no longer as nervous now that she knew that Peter was being a bit more humble about things. When he was asleep she crept back in with her key, curling into his side, wearing one of his t-shirts. When he woke in the morning he thought for a moment he was dreaming of Georgetown, remembering how she'd got into the habit of wearing his favourite t-shirt after being dared to switch clothes at a party with him. Which they'd done in full view of everyone, drunk off their asses, and stayed like that until they eventually passed out on a couch somewhere, spooning the only way best friends like that do: with tangled limbs, ass to crotch, no embarrassment. Until of course she'd refused to switch clothes back, and walked home with him, cackling her hungover head at the weird looks they'd got through campus. He remembered when he got annoyed with her he'd try and tickle her out of it, never succeeding because back then she played dirty and always threatened to kick his balls.

Back then they were 'the couple-that-was-but-wasn't'. The only times they weren't joined hip-to-hip were usually when he was chatting up some girl and when she was off on a date with someone who'd had the nerve to get past Will in the first place to ask. No number of times saying 'she's like my sister' or 'he's like my brother' could get around the very simple retort 'dude/girl, I don't _spoon_ with my sister/brother'. In the end however, the only thing that stopped them being that close was when Alicia started going out with Peter. Peter's predecessors never lasted very long: they were either not interesting enough, or not smart enough to keep up with Alicia, or worse just not enough to compare to her best friend. Peter was the only one that struck her blind.

Just when 'she's like my sister' stopped being true, as Will recalled. All because of another dare at another party, one worse than switching clothes. One involving someone counting down the seconds, whilst Will got the best kiss of his life from his best friend. One of those kisses that he never forgot, if only for that split second where his consciousness stopped thinking it was wrong and was drowned out by every fibre of his being that said it was _perfect_.

And then bad timing got in the way. He lost her somewhere in the party, and after friend after friend slowed him down with drunken congratulations at finally getting some, by the time he found her, Peter had instead.

And now, years later, time had given him another chance. Here she was, in one of his t-shirts again, her toes brushing against his, her head resting against his shoulder, one arm reaching out over his stomach, sleeping peacefully. He'd grown up a little, he wasn't a drunk student any more, and this was no dare. Much better timing.

His cellphone buzzed on the bedside, and he gently extracted his arm from Alicia before answering.

"So it's all out in the open now?" Diane said, straight to business.

He sighed, smiling. "I guess so. You know how guilty 'no comment' sounds."

She chuckled. "You do realise how this is going to affect the firm, don't you?"

He wandered out of his bedroom to the kitchen, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "Yeah, I know." He'd been thinking about it since Peter's press statement. Whilst the 'no comment' on Will and Alicia's relationship kept everything officially unofficial, everyone knew how to read between the lines. Which meant that they were definitely sleeping together. Which affected all the dynamics of their work.

"Have you got a strategy in mind?" She asked briskly. Will was silent. Not really. He could practically hear Diane smirking on the other end. "You know we can't have bias, Will."

"I know." He did, he knew what she was talking about. It was one thing when Peter fed Alicia inside information, information they back up with their own research to cover their tracks. But if it ever appeared that _Will_ was getting inside information from a former and potentially future State Attorney, then it would not look good for the firm. The State Attorney was not meant to look like he favoured particular law firms. That was just externally, internally there was all the whisperings and rolled eyes of people's perceptions. It was not going to be easy.

"I have an idea," Diane volunteered.

Will groaned teasingly. "Will I like it?"

"Hmm, you should," Diane teased back. "Want to hear it?"

Will chuckled. "Alright, hit me."

Diane paused for dramatic effect. "Take a vacation."

Will took his phone away from his ear in shock. "Excuse me?" He must be asleep still.

Diane chuckled at his response. "You heard. Get out of the office, out of the spotlight here. Take some time off, Alicia too. Already the phones are backed up with messages from the press asking for statements from the firm. I've already sent out the memo to the staff about commenting to the press, but considering the cutbacks..."

Will blinked, thinking fast. His imagination was already in over drive, contemplating sand and sea, cocktails with umbrellas, sunsets... sex on the beach. Hmm, actually, he'd done that once before, over-rated. Sand gets everywhere, pain in the ass. Enormous beds with cotton sheets in a luxury cabin with a view of the beach however...

"You sure?" He asked, wondering whether she was pulling his leg.

"Yes, I'm sure," Diane laughed.

"Not planning to steal my half of the firm while I'm away?"

Diane laughed again. "Well now you've mentioned it..." He grinned too. There were few people he trusted to partner with. Diane Lockhart had always been at the top of that tiny list. "Just make sure you do one thing when you get back: make it work. Alicia's a good lawyer, and you both make a good team. If that changes, we'll have a serious problem on our hands. If we get anyone accusing you and Alicia of anything over a case, we want to hit back that they're just bitter that they're not doing a better job."

Will smiled. He liked the sound of that. "Alright. How long should we disappear off the radar?"

"Let's make it a couple of weeks, see how things are then. Make sure you have phone reception and your laptop so we can contact you for anything."

"Okay." He paused. "Thanks, Diane. I owe you."

Diane chuckled again. "Yes, you do. Be sure to return the favour sometime. Talk soon."

Will laughed and hung up. He turned around and smiled as he saw Alicia, looking sleepy-headed and still wearing just his t-shirt. "Hey. How were the kids last night?"

She came over to him and wrapped her arms round him, resting her cheek against his chest as he rested his head on top of hers. He always forgot how much shorter she was than him out of her heels. "Okay, I think. Zach actually spoke to me for a bit, asked whether this means I'm going to be seeing you more now."

"What did you tell him?"

"I said I didn't know, that we'll play everything by ear, see how we all feel." She looked up at him. "I did say I want to, if that's alright with him and Grace. He... I think he said it's alright, but I don't think he'll be any more open to Spending Quality Time Together." She rested her cheek on his chest again. "Grace asked me how I felt now that it was all out in the open. I don't really know yet." She sighed. "Was that Diane on the phone?" Will nodded. "What did she say?"

Will stroked her hair for a moment, smiling at her nervousness. He didn't blame her. "She said to take some time off, both of us, keep out of the office for a bit 'til things settle down."

Alicia groaned. "How long?"

Will shrugged. "Two weeks, maybe longer." Alicia sighed. "When was the last time you took a vacation?"

Alicia groaned even louder. "Too long. Why?"

"Do you remember what Kazue wanted to do after the divorce?"

Alicia frowned at the sudden subject change. When the answer came to her shortly she frowned deeper and looked up at Will. "She said she wanted to go to Fiji to relax..."

He smiled down at her. "Want to go do that for a couple of weeks?"

"Wait. One. Bloody. Moment." Kazue stared at Will, back in the present, wide eyed. "You went to Fiji?"

Will nodded. "You were right, by the way, they really do know how to relax."

She glared at him. "Damn you. God damn jealous now. You even got a god damn tan whilst you were out there." She glared down at her swollen belly, silently chastising it for preventing her from going travelling again too. After a moment she softened, smiled instead, stroked it, content. No grudges.

Will chuckled in amusement at her. "What's with the 'god damn's?"

Kazue smiled. "I've been helping Eli with toning down his language for the campaign. It's not going well."

Will just shook his head in amusement. This was something he had never expected.

Alicia had always suspected Eli Gold's decision to make the truth public. It seemed too generous for someone who was so ruthless. It didn't come as a surprise when they found out it wasn't his idea, after Alicia questioned him about it. Eli, arching an eyebrow as he spoke reluctantly, grumbling, probably envious that he couldn't take credit for it, and still unsure whether he should be envious in the first place, admitted the truth. The idea came from a new volunteer in his staff.

It's funny how things turn out. Kazue was officially single once again, the divorce papers signed and filed, and starting to show. She and Alicia had kept in touch, both needing someone to confide in in the early days of new changes, and Kazue needing sensible advice on her pregnancy that she couldn't get from her girlfriends. At a small dinner party for Peter's campaign with some of his major contributers, Alicia asked if Kazue wanted to come and help with the cooking, keep Alicia company and see what the Florrick family did for a living. At that dinner party Kazue mingled, chatted, talked politics, and had the guests treating her as an equal rather than the random interloper that she was. Eli eavesdropped from the Peter's side, the corner of his mouth turned up, impressed, intrigued. From what he heard, Kazue shared many of the same ideals that Peter had, with the interesting distinction that she knew the difference between ideals and reality, and that the two are not always compatible. The trick, she said, was to convince reality to compromise with ideals, not vice versa, and to just get on with it when you couldn't. So, whilst she perfected the final touches to mini pannacottas, Eli cornered her in the kitchen and offered her a job.

In his typical fashion he was blunt, completely patronising with his un-patronising way, and stunned Kazue to silence. He told her that he was impressed: she didn't bullshit, and more importantly he knew that she could see through all the bullshit in the room. She was clearly smart, she'd majored in Philosophy at the University of Chicago - yes, he was listening - and she had a healthy amount of scepticism in all political systems. She also clearly knew how to read people. The right compliment here, laugh at the right time there, and she genuinely listened. She flattered them into believing that what they said was worth listening to, whilst Eli's tactic was usually the opposite. He didn't give a shit about what they thought and he was upfront about it. He only cared about what people thought when it was his job to.

She just stared at him expressionlessly. It was the about one of the oddest situations she'd ever come across, backed up against the fridge with a bowl of strawberries in her hand and a couple of pannacottas in the other, a few guests standing around in the kitchen talking amongst themselves, whilst a guy she'd never met before told her how little he thought of said people around them, voice low but clear right in her ear, confidence and arrogance seeping out of his every pore... and damn, it was tempting. She was going through bad morning sickness - the smell of some of the dishes she'd helped concoct with Alicia had made her nearly heave twice already, let alone some of the cologne some of the men at the party were wearing, ugh - and she was getting mad food cravings at all hours of the day. Because of her morning sickness working at the restaurant with Liam was a no-go, and she was getting bored in her apartment eating endless amounts of random fruits. Yesterday the height of her day was spending over thirty dollars on oranges, peaches, apples, passion-fruit, mangoes, pineapples and carrots at a market in two separate visits. She refused to watch daytime TV, was too restless to read books, and had exhausted her supplies of crosswords and sudoku. She wanted something to do, something that would challenge her, even stress her out a little, just so that she didn't contemplate her life twenty four seven.

But she'd be damned if she actually told this guy that when he hadn't even told her his name yet. "Why would I work for you... whoever you are?"

He had just smiled at her, as if he knew that she was going to say yes already. "Eli Gold, Peter Florrick's campaign manager." He didn't extend his hand after flicking his eyes over her full ones, just stood there, smirking.

"Huh." Kazue tilted her head sardonically. "That don't mean crap to me."

Eli actually looked like he was about to laugh. "I'm the son of a bitch who's going to reinstate Peter Florrick in the state attorney's office."

"Ah..." She smiled, amused despite herself. "That still doesn't tell me why I should work for you."

Eli Gold smirked, stepped even closer and spoke low in her ear, his breath tickling her neck. "Humour me for a moment. See the guy in the corner, merlot, red tie?" She looked. The man in question had his back to her, his face in profile, tall, good-looking for his late forties/early fifties, stood a particular way. "What can you tell me about him?"

Kazue frowned at Eli. "What?"

"Well, you've already noticed the ring on his finger. Good marriage? Children? Where does he live? What does he do for a living? What does he think?" Eli asked.

Kazue blinked, and at Eli's insistent gaze turned back to study the man. And said what came off the top of her head. "I... I dunno. Second, maybe third marriage. If he's got kids it's from the first marriage, probably the longer of his marriages. Apartment kind of man, not some house in the suburbs, likes the city life with a fancy sports car not the four-by-four. Probably inherited some business or other, gets other people to manage it, probably pretty apathetic about things except when they apply to him."

Eli smiled, genuinely smiled. He glanced around for another subject. "And the guy he's talking to?"

Kazue's eyes followed Eli's. This guy was facing them, listening to his friend. "He's bored," she started immediately, and paused to think. "Womaniser. Feeling very flattered that I'm staring at him... not so much now that he's noticed the bump." She darted her eyes over her swelling belly, as though both cursing and thanking it. Eli, to his credit, kept his eyes on her face. "Whatever business he's in he works hard at himself, likes to work hard and play hard. Probably very good at both, he's very proud of himself."

Eli nodded, impressed. "Now, what do you think of Peter?"

Kazue frowned again, uncomfortable at the sudden turn. "I -"

"What does everyone think of him? How is he coming off to them?" Eli paused for effect. "Does he have their support?"

Kazue looked around, her discomfort growing. She glanced round Eli to look at Peter himself, talking to a couple of gentlemen she'd chatted to earlier about the stock market (didn't understand a word they were saying). Then she looked around the room. "Yes. My bet; everyone he's spoken to is thinking of supporting him, they're relaxed. The rest are waiting to be hear what he has to say. It's a tough crowd, but he's swaying them, and I think everyone came because they're interested in him, not just for the wine." She shrunk into herself as she said her last. "They don't suspect a thing about him and Alicia. They'd look more judgemental if they did."

Eli smiled particularly at that last. "This is what I want you to do for me. I want you to help me figure out a way of announcing Peter and Alicia's divorce in a positive light, potentially _before_ the end of the campaign."

Kazue stared at him for a moment and then chuckled. "You want me to do your job for you?"

Eli's mouth twitched in amusement. "No, I want you to do the job I'm not allowed to do for me." Kazue frowned; eh? "I know that you're her former client, and that she likes and trusts you. No doubt then that you'll know that Alicia doesn't want me working on enhancing her public image for the campaign, she only deals with me when the campaign affects the children. Fine. But at some point it's going to become necessary to _protect_ her public image. I'm sure that she would be more comfortable if the person responsible for that was someone who was more concerned with her actual interests, rather than those of the campaign. Someone she likes and trusts. Someone who's intelligent. Someone who managed her husband's interests even as she separated and divorced him." Eli's eyes glared into hers pointedly. "Someone who isn't a son of a bitch like me."

Kazue burst out laughing. "How flattering."

"I'm not trying to flatter you, Ms Natsu-Harris, if I wanted to do that I'd be making up lies instead." Eli quipped back. "Think about it." He eyed her up and down for a moment, popped his card into a pocket in her shirt, and promptly vanished into the party.

Kazue just stood there for a moment, dessert ingredients in her hands, his card burning through her top into her chest. Then she laughed to herself and carried on preparing.

She didn't bother calling. She took a couple of days to think about it, and then, finally fed up with inactivity, turned up at Eli's campaign headquarters, and started drafting Peter's speech and key plan ideas for what to do in the event of press leaks.

And thus started one of the oddest affairs Alicia and Will had ever seen. Gold started out as a mentor, teaching Kazue everything as they went, dragging her almost everywhere he went to bounce campaign strategy ideas off. He made no secret that having her around made them look good - appealing to voters who wanted rights for working mothers - and, no matter how much he grumbled about her moving slowly, he always moved slow for her too when she ordered him to. She caught on fast; Kazue knew how to see through silver tongues, knew how to reveal bullshit for bullshit, knew how to ensure that what Peter said could not be easily misinterpreted, manipulated and abused. Attacks were coming in fast from Peter's opponents, and she was a brilliant at making sure that Peter struck the right notes when he retaliated. Better than that she made sure that Eli's methods were not too underhanded, that they could never be accused of fighting too dirty.

She enjoyed the work. It was tough, bitchy world. She and Eli flirted constantly, bantering back and forth, continuing the contest to see who couldn't come back the most. Given Eli's fifteen odd years over her, he should have won far more; instead, he'd met his match. As the campaign got more stressful, as Kazue's hormones worsened to the point where she could only just keep control of her moods the banter lessened, leaving what had been developing all along: a friendship of equals, waiting for the world to fall away so they could take things less seriously.

In other words, they were waiting for Kazue to not be pregnant so they could shag like rabbits.

But for the last month or so Kazue had been working from home, keeping in touch on her blackberry as she screened the news, waiting to give birth. Otherwise, she hadn't seen Eli at all.

"How's that all going?" Will asked her, raising an eyebrow obviously.

She raised an eyebrow back, ignoring his pointedness. "I miss working, I liked working on the campaign, it was... always challenging. Nowadays my only challenge is finding a comfortable way of sitting and lying down." She looked away for a moment, and he wondered what had just gone through her mind. He could have sworn she looked like she was missing someone. Then she rallied, smiled, and changed the subject. "So, when did you get back?"

Will grinned, and let it go. "A couple of weeks ago. Things were still a bit weird at the firm, the press kept calling up for interviews, and Diane had to fire someone for gossiping to some rag about me and Alicia, some nonsense about us in my office doing some very unprofessional things. Alicia's taken her kids to visit her parents for a bit before we start work in a couple of days, they should get back today, flight's been delayed," Will rambled a bit, visibly steeling himself up at the thought of returning to work.

"Nervous?"

"A little, not so much for me but for Alicia. I'm the boss, no one's stupid enough to say anything to me. But she's just a junior associate, people can comment whatever they like to her, and there's only so much I can reasonably do," Will answered uncomfortably.

Kazue smiled. "She'll be alright. If she can stand up to Blythe the Wanker she can stand up against anyone else who wants to be a tosser too." Will laughed out loud. "Things will be alright when you both have stuff to do. Diane's right, do a good job and you'll have less to worry about, people talk less when you get them good results."

Will smiled. This was one of the reasons why he liked Kazue, liked talking to her: she had plenty of common sense. That, and the fact that she still swore like a Brit.

"You were right, by the way," he told her.

"Of course I was. About what?"

He grinned. "Remember you told me one day I'd know for sure, like you did, and that I'd jump, like you did?"

Kazue smiled, nodding. "Yeah, I remember. I was right, wasn't I?" Will nodded, smiling. "Any regrets?" He shook his head. "Good, never regret good decisions, bloody waste of ti -"

Will frowned, alert, as Kazue grimaced, bent over slightly, gripping her stomach. "What's wrong?"

Kazue grunted. "Get Liam."

* * *

Alicia smiled as she watched Grace and Zach head straight to their bedrooms chorusing 'good night's. It had been a long day, driving to and from airports and delays on their flight. Peter was busy with the campaign, he hadn't been able to pick them up from O'Hare. Alicia was disappointed, for the kids' sake, they hadn't seen him for a week now, but they seemed so tired she wasn't sure whether Peter would have gotten much response from them anyway. She couldn't blame him too much, if their flight had left on time he would have been able to make it. He had promised, and ordered Eli to ensure that he could keep his promise, that he'd take the kids camping next weekend. She appreciated the gesture: he knew she was going back to work, and so would probably need that weekend to cram and catch up, and she'd never been a camping fan, so the kids couldn't blame her for not coming too.

She plucked her cellphone from her pocket and check if she'd missed any messages, then she speed-dialled a familiar number.

"Hey," Will answered after a few seconds. He sounded so tired.

"Hey, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm at the hospital -"

"_You're where_?"

"Kazue's water broke half-way through lunch. I tagged along to make sure they didn't take forever with paperwork again. And now I'm keeping her former mother-in-law at bay."

Alicia let out the breath she'd held on, her sudden worries dissolving fast. "How is she?"

"Okay, I think. Seems her son is in a hurry, for a first born I'm told."

Alicia smiled. remembering how long her children took. Given their personalities today, it seemed bizarre that Zach had taken an age and Grace almost no time at all. "Want me to come over?"

* * *

Will was half asleep when Alicia sat next to him the waiting room. Despite having talked to her almost every day whilst she was away, he'd missed her. It had been strange, after two weeks of being with her twenty four/seven as they toured Viti Levu and island hopped through the Yasawas and Mamanucas. They'd stayed in beautiful resorts right on the beach, eaten Fijian curry and other local delicacies, drank cava and mellowed as it numbed their tongues. They'd played volleyball, hiked to waterfalls, sandboarded, just lazied on the sand, and meandered through fruit markets and tourist shops. He'd managed to finish reading two books - with his job, he never got to read fiction, it was always for work - whilst she got through three, gotten sunburn on his nose and half a million mosquito bites whilst she teasingly complained about two. And then they'd flown back to Chicago, and returned to their real lives. For a week he'd barely seen her except a couple of stolen nights in between catching up from home.

For two weeks he hadn't had to hold back. In Fiji they'd been just another couple on vacation: no one knew that she was separated from her husband, that the children who called every day weren't his, and that since they'd gotten together they hadn't been able to hold hands, kiss, or flirt with each other in broad daylight. He'd been so happy. And now, they were back under the spotlight, he could see half the waiting room's occupant had recognised Alicia (the other half unaware were mostly asleep) and so had correctly assumed who he was. Liam's mother clearly had taken an instant dislike towards him, after remembering his name from Peter Florrick's press statement, so not only was he the shameful lawyer who had handled her son's divorce, he was having an affair with the former and favoured State Attorney's wife. Twice a home wreaker. Brilliant. He could see why Kazue had been glad to be rid of her after the divorce.

"How are your parents? Your dad still putting up wonky shelves?" He asked, remembering the few times he'd met Alicia's parents at Georgetown. He'd liked them, mostly because they'd liked him. Her mom had told him to keep an eye on her daughter, to make sure she behaved herself, to which Alicia pointed out that it was more the other way round. He'd just grinned sheepishly, making Alicia's dad laugh.

"Good. Dad took Zach fishing, and Mom took Grace shopping, she's a bit more savvy than Jackie about what kids wear these days. They said to say something to you, by the way." Will blinked, wondering what that might be, hoping it was good. "I quote, 'about time', unquote." He grinned, let his eyes close. It was late, the ward was growing quiet for the night shift, and it had turned out to be a much longer day that he'd expected.

"Do you want to stay?" Alicia asked.

Will nodded. "Kazue's a friend, and someone's got to make sure Mrs Harris keeps out of the way." He gestured to an old woman with a grumpy face who was snoring in the corner. "If they're still here in the morning someone's got to keep Kazue's girlfriends at bay as well. Earlier they wanted to kidnap her for a home birth until she yelled at them to 'bugger off' mid-contraction so they'd get out of everyone's way."

Alicia grinned at the image of it. "Okay. Get some sleep. I'm going to get some coffee. I'll take over for a bit."

Will yawned. "You sure?"

Alicia nodded, started rolling up her coat to make a pillow for him. "I'm sure. I've got the briefs Diane sent us, I need to go over them again to be ready for Monday." She smiled as he yawned again and ran her fingers through his hair. "Go on, just point me in the direction of a coffee machine and I'll be right back."

By the time she got back, her coffee strong, black and heavily sugared, Will was fast asleep, stretched over three seats. She smiled, lifted his head carefully, sat down, and cradled his head in her lap, using the empty seat next to her to read, stroking his hair unconsciously with her free hand. She looked up only as doctors went past to ask how Kazue was doing, and to curiously watch as other women in varied stages of childbirth were brought in or moved around the ward. She silently wished them all luck, hoping that for all of them that night would prove to be one of the best nights of their lives, just as the days and nights that Zach and Grace had been born had been for her. Then she'd peered down at Will, and wondered briefly whether he'd ever wanted to be a father at some point in his life.

Then Liam himself came out, his face tear-stained and happier than he'd ever been in his life, and asked if they wanted to meet his son.

Right there and then, as Kazue, sweaty and exhausted, handed over a bundle of pink skin and a tuft of messy dark hair with tiny fingers, Will understood perfectly why Alicia was always so concerned about her children's well-being. Once upon a time Alicia had been in Kazue's place, and Zach and Grace had been this small, this vulnerable, this fragile. It spawned in him a bizarre avuncular feeling, and he smiled as the tiny human being in his arms fidgeted slightly, restless and new to the world. Then Kazue asked him a question that would make him very, very happy.

"Want to be a godfather?"

* * *

Kazue, exhausted but looking a little more alive now she was showered and feebly on her feet, gazed at her son as he slept soundly, restlessly shifting in his cot. She just watched, entranced, wanting to be there just a little longer before she went back to her room to sleep.

"Good looking baby."

She looked up in surprise and smiled. Eli Gold stepped towards her, immaculate in his suit, just in from the campaign office. The only things that looked odd about him was the bunch of flowers he held in one hand, and the brown paper bag and blue gift bag in the other. He extended the brown paper bag to her: "grape?"

She chuckled and took the bag, and watched as he scoffed a handful down himself. "Do you ever stop working, Eli?" He raised an eyebrow at her. 'No', then. "I've already told you, you're not using him for your campaign. Not ever. You're not making a baby-for-hire out of my son."

Eli chuckled and punched the air dramatically. "Bother."

Kazue smiled tiredly. "There you go, knew you'd get the hang of stereotypical British cursing."

He stood by her side and peered through the glass at her son in his cot. Something nostalgic washed over his face for a moment as he smiled. "Christ, no wonder you were so bitchy, kid's the size of a -"

"Oh shoosh," she interrupted, grinning. "Too tired."

He turned to her, stepped right up to her, but said nothing for a little while. His hand reached out, tucked a stray hair behind her ear, dragged the tips of his fingers down her cheek a little as he did so. Her breath caught. He'd never done that before with her. She met his gaze, waiting, butterflies fluttering in her stomach uncomfortably. She could see everything in his face.

Eli's hand dropped away. He was so close...

"I came to thank you for your services to Peter's campaign. We -" He stopped himself. No, not 'we'. "_I_... appreciate it. You did some damn good work." Kazue's eyes widened. She knew for certain what was coming now. "Go be a mother, Kaz. Look me up when he starts school, when being a mom is more part time." Eli smiled, a little sadly. Something flickered in his eyes, something very human. But then he decided not to, handed the flowers and the gift to her, and left.

Kazue looked down at the flowers - camelias, her favourite - and peered into the bag: a tiny pair of socks for the baby. She stared at her son as he slept, told herself to go her room and sleep, and not cry except for relief for her boy. She stared at her son and swore to herself that he would be the only man she ever cried for.

* * *

"Happy?"

Alicia led Will to his car, smiling at the look of awe in his face. He kept stopping just to quietly cheer, making her laugh every time. The sixteenth best bachelor of Chicago had just been made speechless by holding a baby in his arms.

Will, grinning like a loon, wrapped his arms round her and held her tight. She hugged him back, smiling as she heard him chuckling happily into her shoulder. He pulled away from her and sighed contentedly. "Oh my god, I'm _exhausted_."

She grinned, and took his hand and dragged him to his car, got in the driver's seat as he buckled up, rubbing his eyes tiredly. Just as she put the keys in the ignition she stopped, surprised.

There was Eli Gold, his face tight with... she couldn't tell. Alicia watched as he suddenly came to a standstill, saw a particular look come over his face, a look that she had not seen and would not see ever again on Eli's face: the look a man gets when he wonders whether he just made an absolutely dreadful mistake. He looked as though he was going to turn back...

And then he carried on walking away.

It was the only time Alicia ever saw Eli Gold do a good deed, an altruistic deed, one that had no benefits for his own interests. And it made her think of what a husband told his wife as he agreed to do a good deed that also had no benefit for him either: _I should have told you that more_.

She turned to Will, took his hand in hers to get his attention, waking him up a little. "I love you."

No matter how many times she said it to him, the look of pure happiness he gave her when she said that to him never diminished.

* * *

**I'm so sorry for the obscene delay to Part II, this has long been in the making. My only excuse for the delay was that I've ended up writing too much as new ideas hit, and so I've ended up splitting it. There will be a Part III, along with an epilogue. I hope that will appease you all :-)**

**Hope this finds everyone well, please read and review! (And please for the love of God tell me whether Eli-Kazue was a really bad idea!)**


	3. Part III & Epilogue

Selfish

Part III

Years Later...

"Josh!" His mother called out. "Watch out for my camellias!"

"Sorry, Mommy!" The little boy called back and rushed after his soccer ball. He stumbled on the grass, grazing his knees green, but picked himself up again and carried on going, determined to get a goal past the goal keeper.

Who, unlike little Josh, was wearing an old Georgetown sweater and muddy jeans instead of a red soccer shirt and matching shorts, and the greys in his hair were starting to catch up with him. As Will Gardner teased and played with his godson, Alicia watched, the smile on her face betraying her wrinkles. But they were happy wrinkles now, no longer the lines of stress, but rather the wear of a few years doing a job she enjoyed even on the worst of days, motherhood and all its trials, and the serenity of feeling safe and loved again. Sitting across from her was Kazue, now in her early thirties, radiant with calm beauty. Motherhood had softened her, added a little happy padding to her bones, made her smile more. The tell-tale white band of skin of her ring finger had long faded away, and against the Illinois spring chill, she'd taken to wearing very sensible, very mommsie jumpers. She had the rare quality of looking her age, and far more coveted features that age well.

For all four people in that suburban garden, where the sounds of Chicago traffic were quiet and distant, where the skyscrapers of the city were blurry on a clear day, far removed from the bizarre rush of cosmopolitan existence, their lives had only recently begun. For three of them, again.

"How are things with Liam?" Alicia asked.

Kazue smiled. "He's good, really good. He's visiting his girlfriend's parents in Santa Fe for the weekend."

"Really?" Alicia repeated, surprised. For all these last few years Liam had barely left Kazue's side, keeping his promise to be an attentive and present father. Alicia had always believed that he hadn't moved on from his ex-wife, if his affectionate, longing gazes at her were anything to go by. Evidently she was wrong.

Kazue grinned. "I know, things are going really well for them. Julie's son, Charlie, he's gone with them, they were thinking of taking Josh too but he really wanted to see Will." Kazue smiled happily. "The two boys get on really well, and it's working out really well for Liam. I hope it works out for him. He looks at her the way he used to look at me. It's really good, seeing him happy again. And she's nice, I like her."

Alicia studied Kazue carefully and smiled at what she found. No jealousy. No bitterness. No regret. Just genuine caring, genuine affection.

"What about you, Alicia?" Kazue asked kindly. "How's being an ex-Florrick?"

Alicia smiled grimly, and then, in answer, shrugged. "Technically I'm still a Florrick, too much hassle to change my name back. As much as I resent it sometimes, sharing a name with the State Attorney has its advantages."

Kazue nodded understandingly. "How are you and Peter?"

Again Alicia shrugged. "Good, I guess. Things are going well for him. He's still living in the old apartment with Zach until the sale goes through. We've agreed to split it, so when that comes through I might take some time off work again if I can, take Grace to Europe before she goes to college next year if she'd like."

Kazue grinned at the prospect. "That's a fantastic idea. Fly to London and get inter-rail tickets, see the best of Europe by train. Me and my mates did that when we were at sixth form, brilliant summer that was." Her grin calmed. "How are they, Zach and Grace?"

Alicia sighed. "They're... they're alright. Zach's at Harvard now, and things have been a bit better for him since he went away to college, to be honest. I think his girlfriend, Jamie, gave him a little perspective. Her parents are divorced as well, and she seems more... considerate than his last girlfriend. He stays with his dad when he's home, though he gets on well enough with Will now, the few times they've met anyway. I think it's still uncomfortable for him though. I think it's hard for Peter too, with Zach away in Boston. It meant a lot to him when Zach... when Zach chose to live with him."

Kazue watched sympathetically as Alicia's head dipped at the memory of her son's custody choice. "And Grace?"

Alicia's face filled with pride, making Kazue glad she moved the subject on. "She's good, her teacher's think she'll get the grades she needs for the University of Chicago with flying colours."

Kazue grinned. "Ah, excellent choice, my alma mater."

Alicia grinned too, nodding. "She's going to live in student halls though, it's easier to meet people that way, make new friends." Kazue nodded, agreeing. "Until then, she's settled in well, I think, with Will and I."

Kazue nodded, smiling. She remembered the more stressful days, when Alicia officially divorced Peter. It had been a fair and amiable enough process when it came to sorting through their shares of their finances, neither greedy, neither overly demanding, neither selfish. But when it came to the question of custody, with neither of their children of age, everything got complicated. It was not a question of finances: both Alicia and Peter were working and earning decent money, and could easily afford to look after the kids, and given how busy they both were it wasn't a question of who had more time for them either. Peter had his mother to help out still, and Alicia's brother Owen had moved closer to his sister, so he had offered to help and be a decent and humorous uncle. Ultimately, it was a choice for their children, to decide who they were most comfortable living with.

Alicia and Will's relationship was no longer a secret from anyone, even though it was no longer news worthy any more. Doing as Eli Gold had advised, keeping things Disneyfied, had surprisingly done exactly what they'd hoped it would. It wasn't seedy like Peter's affairs, it was all portrayed as the romantic converging of paths that had long been destined to return to each other, or some such nonsense. The press ate it up, and so did the public. And time and again, they beat down every insinuation, every accusation, anything and everything that came up in their work against _them_. The last time Cary had tried the 'boss-is-sleeping-with-his-junior-associate' card, Will had actually turned to him - in court - and told him to stop being a sore loser and stop being so petty. Cary had actually stammered for a full five seconds until he sat down in his seat with a quiet 'nothing further, your honour'.

But even though it was becoming accepted in the wider world, in her own home there remained friction. Zach, despite admitting that he consciously didn't blame his mother for seeking and finding her happiness elsewhere from her former husband, he still _felt_ bitter about it. For all of his father's mistakes, despite all the hurtful things he'd done, he had at least come home. Peter had at least not given up on them completely. As irrational as Zach consciously knew it was, he could not help but _feel_ that his mother, by giving up on his father and choosing Will, had given up on their family, despite all her protestations and efforts to the contrary. Upon hearing that his mother was contemplating moving in with Will eventually, Zach had decided to live with his father. He had nothing against Will personally, but that was not a situation he wanted to grow to accept. He'd had enough of change.

Grace, upon hearing her brother's decision, and seeing the pain on her mother's face, decided there and then that she'd stay with her mother. Unlike her brother, she'd listened a bit more carefully to her mother's plans. Alicia was planning to get another apartment, one that Will, when things were more comfortable, would eventually move into, and sell his own place. It was a plan that potentially would not be acted upon completely for years. It was entirely dependent on many things working out. Potentially Grace herself might have moved out to college, and at that point she was only a high school freshman. It was a big change made at a snail's pace, and it hadn't intimidated Grace half as much as it did Zach. The idea of living with her father, whose actions had torn their family apart in the first place, was not really all that attractive anyway. Grace couldn't help it: after all that had happened, she thought her mom deserved to be happy more than her dad. And seeing her mother's face light up at Grace's decision only made her more certain that she'd done the right thing.

No matter how many times Zach tried to convince her otherwise. They were relatively close, and Zach didn't want them to be split up. But neither would back down, would budge on their choices. For a while Zach was very bitter about that too, no matter what Grace said to justify her choice, or how much effort she went to making it up to him. Zach ended up feeling resentful to Peter too, for failing to keep their family together. In the end, after a few months of living with his permanently angry son, Peter found himself going round to Alicia's new place, only to find Will working on a case whilst Alicia dropped Grace off at a sleepover. Peter, anxious to talk to his former wife about their son, found himself accepting Will's offer to wait, found himself accepting a beer while he waited, and found himself spilling out all of his worries, too tired to be resentful of his ex-wife's lover. To his surprise, Peter found that Will was the one to come up with the best advice, even after hours of talking to Alicia: just leave Zach be. The boy was feeling how he was feeling, as natural as breathing, and there was very little that could be done to change Zach's feelings except to simply let them change. If Peter haven't already, Will said, apologise for all the things Zach's not happy about that he did, or didn't do. Mean it, and let Zach, with time, accept it. Otherwise, just let him be, because if he was as stubborn as his parents then there would be no hope of persuading him otherwise. Besides, if he was like his parents, he'll come round eventually. Compassion was a strong streak in their family.

And Will was slowly but surely proving to be right. Time, Harvard, space, and a nice girlfriend at Zach's side had been the only things to ease Zach's bitterness.

It wasn't living happily ever after. But it was living pretty happily, all things considering. Things could be better. But they had been, and could be, much much worse.

"I'm so proud of Grace," Alicia told Kazue. "When Will moved in a few months ago she handled it so well. She sees her father a lot, as often as he can, and she flew to Boston for the weekend once to see her brother. I'm so proud of her." She smiled. "I'm so proud of both of them."

Kazue smiled back. "You should be. They're good kids, Alicia, credit where credit's due." She gazed after her son, who was now arguing with his godfather over the legitimacy of a goal after tackling the goalkeeper. Will was teasing him with faux-legal language whilst gripping his bruised shin. "How are things now with Will?"

Alicia's smile widened. "Better."

It had been a long, tiring journey, these last few years. It had not been easy, and knowing that before hadn't made it any easier. It had been tough for Will, watching as his girlfriend continued to go home to her husband, a husband she wouldn't leave until the right time, wishing that things could have been simpler, that he was free to announce to the world that he was in love with her. Secret love is weary for the soul, it yearns to be expressed rather than hidden like something shameful. No matter how hard he tried to rationalise to himself that Alicia was with him, regardless of what the rest of the world knew, he still felt jealous of Peter for still having first claim to her, jealous of the love she had for her children. He tried hard not to let it make him bitter, tried not to take it out on her. For the most part, he succeeded. When he didn't, it hurt both of them. They argued over it, often repeating the same things over and over, repetitions of the same feelings that wouldn't go away. And then they'd fall to silence, aware that they couldn't change any of it yet, aware that they weren't going to give up either.

They were honest to each other. They would sit and talk about all the awkward things that people in a committed relationship do. Alicia admitted how frightened she felt, sometimes, that Will would grow tired of their difficult situation and return to bachelorhood, yet how happy she was that he showed no signs of feeling that way. He admitted how sometimes he did miss the single life, of not having to share everything in his life would someone else, of his time being completely his own, but not enough to give her up, to not enjoy doing precisely all of those things, of sharing everything he had and all of his time with her. They talked about how often they should see each other, because of the kids or Will needing some time to himself to go to basketball games and the like. They talked about the future they wanted to build together. After Alicia bought the new apartment, when Grace moved in and Will started to prepare to sell and move out of his own place, they talked about how they felt about their new, developing situation, of what kind of role Will had in Grace's life, how much of a stepfather he should be. They spoke openly and frankly, sometimes heatedly, about it all. At first it was awkward, very awkward, talking like that. They got used to it, even though sometimes they didn't always like what they found out from each other. Most of the time, they found out good things.

She couldn't blame him for his feelings. She wished she didn't have to make him jealous either. Sometimes she found herself wishing that she'd never met Peter, that she and Will had gotten together instead at Georgetown... and then she'd feel ashamed as she remembered that if she hadn't met and married Peter, she'd never have had Zach and Grace. No, she wouldn't take back those years of her marriage when they'd been a good and happy family, she and Peter and the kids. But she did find herself less bitter that Peter had betrayed her. Out of that horrible deed something good had happened. It had returned her to Will, had freed her somewhat to chase that 'what if'. She found herself not regretting any of it. It was Life, and it had delivered her to a good place. So she bore the times when their circumstances grated on Will, grated on her too, and always tried her hardest to make sure he knew that she didn't want to be anywhere else, and looked forward together to the days when they would be free to not hide anymore.

Then the leak happened, and partial freedom was handed to them on a very bizarre plate. The office was buzzing with gossip again, and peculiar looks and avoiding eyes. It was discomforting, imagining what people said about her, but at the same time good things happened too. With their secrets out and no need to pretend to be the 'good wife' any longer, with the time off on vacation and with the kids, with Peter's public subtle acceptance of what was happening, her lives with her two most important men got easier. She was so relieved when Eli told her his scheme, relieved that it meant no pretence any more, relieved that his schemes actually helped her personal life rather than irritated it.

Ah, Eli Gold. To her considerable surprise Alicia respected him. He asked less of her when the secrecy and the campaign was over, making one less fight in her life. He was good at his job, Eli Gold, she had to admit it. As time had passed, after her separation and divorce from Peter, Gold continued to turn up in her office on occasion, asking for her support where he thought it would genuinely be needed, letting her know when such-and-such wanted an interview or story on the State Attorney's former wife, though never actually asking whether she wanted to do them, or implying that she should or would. She liked that he had sense enough to never ask for what was not needed, and then fought hard for her contributions when he was certain that they were. She still made his life hard for him though, which she suspected only made them respect each other all the more. And she was grateful, supremely grateful, that when it came to Zach and Grace, Eli Gold and Alicia were of the same mind: no go area. Admittedly his reasons weren't remotely the same as hers, but she was grateful for his considerable efforts in keeping the press away from her children. And now that he was no longer an intrusion in her life, they were a little more familiar. Business done they'd catch up a little before heading off to carry on with their jobs. She liked teasing him about what she'd once heard on a wiretap, about him being the protective father. And he'd ask if she was still defending Nazis.

And then of course, there was Kazue... Alicia very wisely never, ever asked about or spoke of what she saw in the hospital car park the night Josh was born, and she always suspected that Eli was actually rather grateful for it.

Sitting in that garden, her friend sitting across from her, watching her partner play with his godson, Alicia took note to herself of her blessings. Her two brilliant children. Will; her best friend, employer, lover and partner. Her mentor, Diane, for being so understanding, supportive, merciless and inspiring. Kalinda, for all her observations, for her strength and advice. Even for Peter, for finally trying, for all those good times past. For the new home she had, with furniture she and Will had picked together, decorated together, went home to and cooked together, slept together in and woke up to face the world together.

For herself, for being, though no longer the good wife, a good woman still.

"I'm happy."

The words came out without Alicia even really being aware that she'd said them. She only realised that she actually had when Kazue smiled, nodded and sighed.

They carried on watching the little boy play, so young and blissful, living simply and joyfully, without all the strange complications of grown up life. Now, they did not envy him. Their lives had riches that little Josh would find out much later. Alicia turned and studied her friend's face, and wondered. "How's Eli?" She asked, keeping her voice down.

Kazue's eyes dropped away from watching her son, and then flickered back up resolutely. "He's fine."

She said nothing more, just smiled at her own silence. No, there really wasn't much to tell.

Being a new mom was a full time job. Kazue brought her new born son home and began the sleepless nights, breast feeding, paying constant attention to the baby, learning Josh's moods, getting used to changing diapers and the occasional vomiting. The only connection Kazue had to the Florrick campaign - to Eli - was watching its progress through the news. When she could she sent quick emails to Eli about what she thought of Peter's press statements and interviews, or the ones made by his opponents. Quick things like 'good job', 'change his tie, too bright', 'shut up already about that', 'man up, Eli, Chicago ain't that dense', 'too subtle, go bigger'. Generally she didn't get replies unless he wanted some expansion on her comments. Otherwise things would turn up at her apartment: the Manchester United t-shirt and shorts Josh had grown into and was sporting now, baskets of random exotic fruits, back massage equipments, bath aromatherapy sets, once even soft baby all-in-ones with a matching suit perfectly tailored for Kazue's size, all with notes teasing about the trials of motherhood.

She watched as Peter won, wondering what Eli would do to celebrate. She had camellias from one of her own plants - one of his gifts - couriered to his campaign office with a bottle of champagne. She learned that Eli continued to work for Peter when the occasion called for, managing his press to ensure Florrick's second rein would not be besmirched by the events that ended the first. Uncertain drafts of speeches appeared in her email, and she'd send them back with her comments when she could. Not all of them were for Peter Florrick, some were for Eli's other clients.

Meanwhile Josh took his first steps, started speaking English rather than gobbledegook - although he still did that on occasion. His father tried to get him into American football, and eventually admitted defeat as the little toddler favoured British football - 'sokka!' - with his mommy.

Then Kazue turned thirty. Her birthday celebrations were split in two: the day itself with a select few, Josh, Liam, Alicia and Will, Grace even, for a meal at Liam's restaurant. The weekend after was a night out with her girlfriends. Liam promised to babysit, and off she went, in a gorgeous dress and heels, face made-up and colour exploding around her eyes, hair styled to perfection. She'd planned a bar crawl, and had every intention of getting home at dawn with a hangover, to celebrate still being young enough to do it. All drinks, she'd been promised, were on her friends, and on arrival at the first bar she was gifted with a colourful looking shot and a box of condoms, and was shoved in the direction of the hottest single guy in the bar.

Then she saw the news on the TV above the bar: a well-known Chicago businessman - the one she judged to be a lazy rich ass at Alicia's party, which felt like so very long ago - had been accused of massive tax evasion. He was one of Eli's clients, one that she had drafted company press statements for when he asked. The hot guy drifted away when he realised she wasn't paying attention any more, and soon after she left too.

She found Eli in his office, staring over the lights of Chicago, deep in thought as the news blared on the TV through the dark, frown set deep in his forehead. She hadn't actually seen him since he came to the hospital. He finally realised she was there when she turned off the TV, plunging the room into complete darkness save the orange glow of the city below. He had one second to take in how beautiful she looked in her dress, one second when he forgot to hide just how beautiful he thought she'd always looked, before all he could see was her face coming closer to his... and before he was ripping said dress off her.

When dawn hit through the windows, it traced over strewn clothing, paperwork thrown all over the floor, scratches in the desk, and two still writhing, sweaty bodies together on the couch. The first thing Kazue said to Eli - other than his name and words like 'oh God' - was "Drop the client. He's not salvageable." He just chuckled against her skin, kissed her again.

The next year sizzled for them. One of them would booty call the other, and she'd turn up at his apartment or his office. Random gifts continued to arrive at her home: chocolates when he thought she was looking too thin, early learner reading books for Josh, Mozart CDs, after a particularly adventurous night the Kama Sutra (definitely not for Josh), some of the movies he'd made reference to that she hadn't seen before. For that year they never went on a proper date; they never had dinner together, never went to the movies together, never did any of the stuff couples usually do. They were not 'together'. Behind closed doors it was another matter entirely. He was a good kisser (amongst other things), she was surprised to find; it had taken forever to teach Liam how to kiss her properly so many years ago. He didn't crowd round her when they spooned, exhausted; another thing she'd had to teach Liam not to do. She liked that he was surprisingly gentle at times, that cuddling was not beneath him and was right from the start an unawkward part of what they had, that he didn't just talk about the campaign or work like a boring loser. He told her all the things she'd missed from the campaign - cutting Peter's mother out, dinner with Alicia's interesting sibling, having his own candidate's children tracked to ensure they were behaving themselves and not being caught on camera saying stupid things - making her laugh as he painted the scenes for her. She'd threaten him with baby stories, giggling as he'd wrinkle his nose with reminiscent disgust as he'd try and shush her from describing diaper changing.

He never saw anyone else - Eli Gold was too busy to be dating - and neither did she, despite her friends attempts to set her up, or even Liam's uncertain disapproval. Ever since Josh had been born Liam spent more time at her apartment than at his own in order to spend time with his son. He knew Kazue wasn't remotely shirking her responsibilities to her son, she was a great mother. She made sure Liam looked after Josh whenever she was called away, and every morning was back in time to make Josh breakfast. She was less stressful, less frustrated with her stay-at-home life, clearly happy and content. If only it wasn't with an older guy who described himself as an asshole.

It couldn't last, this lack of complications and definitions.

He sulked when she couldn't always convince Liam to babysit when Eli wanted to see her, which sometimes amused her so she'd tease and flirt her way into him forgiving her, and he'd then have fun thinking up all the ways she should make it up to him. Then he admitted his short conflicted crush on the young Natalie Flores during the campaign, a little after Josh was born, and Kazue, has hard as she tried not to, saw green. No amount of reasoning over and over to herself - it was before they were... whatever they are, Eli was free to fancy who he liked, _nothing happened_ - chased away the jealousy, that stopped her from feeling uncomfortable when she answered his calls and let him sulk when she made excuses.

Eli saw straight through her. Within a few days, time enough to let reasoning do what good it could do - a little but not much - Eli drove out to her home, and promptly introduced himself to his lover's son and said son's father. Liam, thawed to his ex-wife's new... whatever Eli was - by Eli's managing to translate and respond to Josh's gobbledegook and not mind the little boy's sticky hands trying to grab his nose, disappeared to put Josh to bed, and left Kazue to it, practically sprinting up the stairs when he realised that Kazue had barely looked at Eli since he'd stepped in the house. Feeling vulnerable she turned her back on him to finish washing the dishes, and tried not to melt when Eli wrapped his arms round her and settled his chin on her shoulder.

He teased her gently for feeling jealous in the first place, of feeling jealous because he'd made an absolute fool of himself. And then he told her he was sorry for making a fool of himself. Particularly the making a fool of himself bit, making her chuckle. And then he told her how glad he was that he didn't make even more of a fool of himself then, because Kazue had never made a fool out him.

As that last sunk in, the green faded and she smiled up at him. "I try." He just smirked in response, pressed a kiss into the crook of her neck, and wrapped his arms round her tighter when she turned into his embrace and held on just as tight. "Can I say something?" She murmured against his jacket. He nodded, waited. "It wouldn't have been all that nice if you'd actually been a party planner. That would have been a bit lame, I think."

As he drove back to the city, her words repeated themselves in Eli's head over and over again as he wondered whether she meant what he thought she meant, or whether that was too hopeful, or was 'hopeful' really the right word... Then he'd shook his head at himself, and laughed. She'd just pulled a Mark Darcy on him.

Finally Eli took her out on a date. Josh was visiting his paternal grandparents for the weekend, Eli had stopped kissing her long enough for her to shower, and when she came out he gave her a present - a stunning black dress and heels to change into, and took her to one of Chicago's Michelin star-ed restaurants. He picked a table in a dark corner, so no one would see how close they leaned towards each other across the table, or see him trailing his fingers over her wrist, his eyes seeking out all his favourite places on her body that he could see. Thank God for low v-necks.

And then... "I've been asked to go to D.C."

Kazue's mind went blank. Within seconds, just from the way he was looking at her, so suddenly serious, business-like, and set, she knew where this conversation was going. At first she thought it must have been some ploy for work, that this dinner was some way linked to a client. She was right, just not a Chicago one. Now... she knew instantly. Eli was going to Washington, following his ambitions, and he'd already decided. This was a 'had a great time, see you around' dinner.

"Come with me."

_That_ she had not expected. Kazue's eyes widened in surprise, realising that she was several steps ahead of him in the wrong direction, and tried to rally, but already he was leaning forward, his face bricked up. "Look, I know you won't leave your son," he started, his voice tight. "I know you won't uproot him just before he starts school, or take him away from his father. But I... I want you to know that I want you to come with me. A blindly hopeful part of me is hoping that you won't do what I know you will do." He picked up his glass of wine, put it down again, fidgeting uncomfortably. Eli Gold was not the type to bare his heart. Hell, the fact that he had one was 'but I'd have to kill you' Top Secret. "You're stunning, Kaz. All these months we've been... together... it's been fantastic." He grinned slightly, making her smile. Oh yeah, it _really _had been pretty fantastic. "And if I wasn't the selfish, ambitious son of a bitch that I am, I'd stay and tell the Senator to shove his campaign for the White House up his ass. But I am a selfish ambitious son of a bitch and everything else that I want is in the Capital. And as I'm a selfish son of a bitch, I want _everything_ else that I want to be in the Capital as well." His eyes bored into hers, not remotely sparing her from what he was saying. Yet there was a rare lightness, an acceptance that it wasn't going to happen, and he'd already made his peace with it. It was honest. It felt so ruthlessly honest she almost wanted to cry. But she'd never shed tears for him, not once, just as she'd promised when Josh was born, and she wasn't going to start now.

So she shook her head in answer, they went back to his apartment again, where he made her shatter so hard she finally shed her first tears for him, realising that she was going to lose a lover that she was completely addicted to.

In the year since he'd left, she'd seen him a handful of times when he came back to Chicago to see to his business. They'd lock themselves in his hotel room for the weekend, forgetting all plans of fancy dinners and other ideas for dates, having other things to catch up on, until he had to catch his flight back to D.C. After she'd be glowing for a while, and miss him after that. Between his visits they barely talked, neither wanting to become some conventional long-distance couple. Conventional didn't suit either of them.

"I miss him," Kazue told Alicia quietly. "I miss the banter, and the... y'know." Alicia grinned as Kazue turned bright red. She wasn't surprised; Kazue had mourned how she'd gone from nearly three years of nothing to a year of more sex than she'd ever had in her life to nothing again. Eli's complete absence made her appreciate just how much she had missed him before too, when he told her to go be a mother. She missed his company, how much he made her laugh with his sheer snobbery and arrogance. She enjoyed sparring with him, the back and forth of dry wit, how far apart their opinions of the world were and how close too, how they'd argue over issues until finally they both gave up and smirk, knowing they'd never agree, and instead just decide whose thoughts worked best in the real world and get on with it. She'd appreciated that when she was pregnant, hormonal and moody, he never gave her any slack, giving her free rein to bitch by giving back as good as he got.

Yet it wasn't just that that she was missing these days. Odd moments stuck out to her, nothing to do with his political ambitions, or him being the asshole she admired. One time in particular played through her head over and over. It was maybe a few months in, after he'd given her the Kama Sutra to study and practice, when she knew he didn't just wear suits all the time, and when staying up 'til dawn on his office couch was not so kinky any more. Liam was looking after Josh, now used to babysitting at the last minute, his doubts already expressed, countered and accepted. When Eli opened the door to her he was on the phone, his brow creased with irritation. It was the expression he reserved, she knew, exclusively for when he was talking to his daughter, so she let him postpone greeting her properly, hung her coat up, kicked off her shoes and got herself a drink as she eavesdropped on his conversation. When he finally hung up, troubles still unresolved, he wrapped his arms round her, pressed a kiss into her hair and sighed. "God, don't ever have daughters."

She chuckled, poured him a glass of wine and watched him take a sip. "Marissa still set on Israel?" He nodded, staring into space, seeing nothing but his imagination. "You know you can't stop her forever, right? She's too much like you." He smiled, but the frown didn't ease. "In which case, make sure she knows you'll help her out if it turns out that, as her father, you actually do know best." He chuckled and tightened his hold round her, and she pressed back into him. Finally the frown uncreased, and his eyes focused on reality, on her.

"You know, parent talk really isn't a turn on." And she started laughing, her giggles swiftly smothered by his kiss as he pressed her against the kitchen cabinets.

She loved those moments, those rare moments when he forgot to hide his 'warm and understanding' side.

Kazue's face fell. Since when did she 'love' anything to do with Eli Gold? Her skin buzzed with the memory of him, and tears threatened when she realised how much she wished he was here. She shook her head slightly, as though to rattle out such silly thoughts from her head, and watched Josh again. The tears faded. No, she didn't regret her decision to stay, and to not ask Eli to stay. It was too selfish. Besides, it wasn't over, they still saw each other whenever they could. Who knew what the future held? All she knew was that she loved her son far more than anyone she'd ever loved in her life. She had no regrets.

She was, despite her sex life, happy. Josh would be starting school soon, and she knew she was going to love helping him with his homework and picking him up from school just as much as she loved reading to him at night and playing in the park now. She could spend more time helping Peter's press team during school hours or go back to managing Liam's restaurant, whatever fancied her. Life was about to open up a little, and she didn't have to hurry to decide. Life was good.

She turned back to Alicia and smiled. "I'm happy too."

The two women toasted their mugs of tea to that, and enjoyed the comfortable silence, punctured only when Josh tried to tackle his godfather to the ground, making them laugh as Will comically fell to the ground. Yes, life was good.

* * *

"So... what did you girls talk about all afternoon?"

Alicia giggled. "Boys, of course."

Will chuckled back, squeezed her hand as they walked towards their car. It was getting late, time to go home. And he kind of needed to get the mud stains out of his jeans, and the grass out of his hair. "Oh no, that can't be good," he teased.

She laughed. "Yep, we talked about how you're all commitment phobes with deep-rooted issues concerning your exs and your mothers, and how all the signs mean something." They both chuckled. "No, we were talking about life. How we're happy."

He stopped, stared at her for a moment. "Are you happy?"

She looked at him for a moment as though he were a complete idiot, smiled, and kissed him. Evidently that was answer enough as he kissed her back. That was one thing she liked about them, how they worked. They still made out just like they had when they first got together, he still kissed her like he was hot for her. He leaned his forehead against hers, held her a little tighter to his chest. "Are you happy too?" She asked.

He leaned away for a moment, gazed straight into her eyes. "Funny, actually, we were talking about that, Kazue and I, while Josh showed you the tree-house. That's kinda why we came, really, I had to ask for her advice on something."

She smiled, bemused, wondering where this was going. "Oh?"

And then Will Gardner did something he had never thought he would do in his entire life, something he'd been planning to do for a little while now, something he was absolutely certain about now.

He got down on one knee. Watched as pure astonishment swept over Alicia's face. Will had wondered why people got nervous when they proposed, when they walked down the aisle. Surely, if they were in love, surely, if they were certain enough to ask, surely they didn't need to be nervous. Right there and then, he wholly sympathised. He was asking to change his life forever. Just because they lived in an age of divorce did not mean the intention of marriage was any different. It was for life, to spend every moment of it with someone else, just one person, which to a man who'd enjoyed his bachelorhood immensely, is completely inconceivable. No freedom to enjoy the hunt, no freedom to enjoy the spoils. The notion of being able to sleep with only one person, after years of being free to sleep with anyone, can seem... unexciting.

And there he was, Will Gardner, hoping to God that she'd say yes, and end those days forever.

"Alicia, I..." He stopped, and smiled. The astonishment had washed away from her face, leaving one thing: sheer happiness. "I love you. I love you so much. And I love it. I love being in love with you. I love our life together. I want that, I want you forever." He squeezed her hand, and reached up to wipe away a tear that dribbled down her cheek. "I want you to be happy, Alicia. I want you to feel loved, every day. I want you to know how brilliant you are, how you deserve to be loved and feel loved. You deserve the best, Alicia, and I want to spend the rest of my life trying to be the best for you."

A happy sob bubbled out of Alicia as she stepped closer to him, and he rubbed her arms soothingly. But he stayed on one knee, not yet done. "Now, poetry aside," he said, his tone turning more practical, grinning as she smiled at the change too. "We need a plan. I've asked Zach and Grace about how they'd feel about this, and they both said that as long as you're happy, they don't mind. Grace was a bit more particular, she insisted that she be your bridesmaid, and that you guys practice throwing the bouquet so that she catches it." He grinned again when she chuckled. "And Zach wanted to know whether... whether it would change anything. I'm afraid I was very pragmatic and told him that if anything did, I'd do my best to make sure it changed for the better; I hope that was the best thing to say." He smiled uncertainly there at her, hoping she wouldn't disapprove. She didn't, nodded, hoping her son took it well.

He stopped smiling as much, and told the bare truth. "Alicia, I'm a lawyer. I know that, should anything happen to me, things are easier when you've got a certificate saying that you're my wife. But, it's more than that. I want to share everything I have with you. Our home, money, everything. I want to be proud of the life we have together, and I want that pride to be recognised every way it can be recognised. I want to celebrate us."

Alicia gazed down at Will, lifted her hand to caress his cheek as he paused, seemed to build up all his courage, and put his soul on the line for her. "Alicia, will you marry me?"

She'd heard those five words before. She remembered them well. Peter, as he often was, had been so confident when he asked her to marry her. He'd taken her to her favourite restaurant, had roses delivered to the table, and given her a ring with the biggest diamond she'd ever seen. He'd just gotten a job at the district attorney's office, and he was feeling flush with his first paycheck, with great ambitions for his career and their lives. Other than that it was an ordinary night; she had work the next day, and she'd been drafting a letter to her best friend from college, her best friend that she'd been slowly drifting apart from, or rather he'd been drifting apart from her, no longer so close now that he was no longer the most important guy in her world. And then Peter swept away all thoughts of Will from her mind with promises of ever-lasting devotion and she let herself get swept up in it. Then it all proved hollow and false. She couldn't possibly have foreseen how things would change.

As Alicia stared at Will's earnest face, she worried. Worried that she was about to make the same mistake again, of getting swept away by fine words, only to be betrayed years later. She worried. For the briefest of moments. A moment she would regret, a moment she would be ashamed of. She knew that Will's words, his promises to make her happy, to make her feel brilliant, to make her feel loved... he'd been doing that every day since they got together. He worked hard to do it. He didn't have to, he could still be enjoying being one of Chicago's most eligible bachelors. Instead he'd built a life with her, one that he'd always meant to last. And most of all, he'd made sure that she always knew that he would never, ever hurt her like Peter had. In the years they had been together he'd never, ever given her any reason to worry that his attentions were straying. He was still capable of appreciating a woman's good looks, like any other red-blooded male, but then his eyes would look for her, and smile brighter when they found her. He always made her feel so beautiful, every time he did that. It was something that Peter never did, he'd always pretended he hadn't noticed other women, or worse forgot to remember how beautiful his wife was.

After Peter betrayed her as he had, Alicia had expected to never really believe in men's fidelity ever again. It made her so happy to believe in Will's.

She loved him. Alicia loved Will too. She loved their life together too. And she loved loving him too.

"Yes."

* * *

Epilogue

The Gardner home has no ambiguity. It has an entrance hallway with a closet for coats and shoes. Local artists' paintings grace the walls. It has a living room with Italian silk sofas and a rug on the floor in front of a ridiculously large tv to watch the games on. The large windows mean that during the day there are no shadows. There's a kitchen, with an island in the centre with pots and pans hanging above it, well-thumbed cookery books on a shelf in the corner, a fruit bowl near the sink, and a formal long pine table with chairs always set for six. Upstairs there are three bedrooms. The first is full of boxes amidst the beginnings of collages being made, stacks of memories waiting to be displayed. The second, clearly a girl's room growing up, is colourful, yet now full of boxes, a lot of defining characteristics have been temporarily packed away for a home elsewhere, but the bed is made, a teddy bear lying on the pillow, waiting. The third, the master bedroom, is dominated with memories. There are framed photos on every surface. Of a mother with her son and daughter. Of two lovers, on vacation, enjoying life. Of the son arriving at college, the distinct buildings of Harvard behind, with his father, both so proud it is hard to measure who has more pride. Of the daughter at her high school graduation, and with the mother, the Eiffel Tower clearly in the background. Of a godfather with his godson, both slowly getting older, more handsome. The two lovers together with a friend in a garden, the photo slightly kiltered, the angle suggesting the low height of the photographer.

Of a wedding at a registry office. The couple unaware, about to take their vows, their nervous excitement in their faces as they smile at each other. The couple posing for the camera, rings on fingers, _happy_. Of the groom posing with his stepson, both smiling with ease, the groom with a friendly hand on the younger man's shoulder, yet keeping to their own space. Of the bridesmaid elated with joy, holding the caught bouquet like a cheerleader's pompom. Of the crowd at the reception, familiar faces from long ago, one with his face ascrew, in the middle of saying "_about damn time!_". Of a father with his daughter and son, smiling happily, glad to celebrate the newfound happiness of someone he cares a great deal for, to whom he owes no bitterness now.

Of a wife and a husband on the dance floor alone, taking their first steps together, enjoying instead a passionate kiss as the crowd behind, out of focus, cheers, the couple grinning through their kiss, arms tight around each other, the first of many kisses like this during their married life.

Throughout this home there are memories everywhere. Photos, souvenirs, momentos. It's the same apartment Alicia bought when she divorced her husband, intending it to be a home she'd build with her new partner, a home to share with her children too, the home her daughter Grace chose, the home her son Zach slowly chose to accept during his college years as he grew older, more mature.

Both have since grown up. Zach graduated from Harvard, and, not knowing yet what path he wanted to pursue, went travelling, working on volunteering projects around the world. As much as both his parents missed him, they'd never been prouder of him. He was a good son: he wrote home often, called when he could afford to be on the phone for hours as his mother and sister asked him every question known to man. His long-time girlfriend, Jamie, went out and visited him once, and kept in touch; Alicia's glad they stayed together, waited all that time, stayed faithful. When Zach returned, suntanned and happy, he moved in with his girlfriend in Boston and got a job at a travel agent, writing columns for travel sections in newspapers on the side. Both his parents helped with his apartment's deposit and helped him move in. They and Grace travel down often to see him, or offer the plane fare so Zach and Jamie can visit them in Chicago.

Grace is now in between places. She graduated from the University of Chicago at the top of her class, and has a place for her post-graduate law degree at Georgetown, following the footsteps of her mother. She's just completed an internship at Lockhart Gardner, and one of her favourite photos is of her and Diane, both suited up for court, flush with victory as Alicia took the photo with enormous pride, Diane smiling proudly at her latest young protege. In love she has yet to be as lucky as her brother: she met a few guys, even had a brief relationship that ended at graduation. There is a guy she met at her interview for Georgetown that she kept in touch with and will be attending with her in the fall. The closer term gets, the more hopeful she becomes, and the sweeter the emails come in. Were she to show these messages from this boy - Bobby, from the depths of sunny California - to her mother, Alicia would be able to smile and tell her that Bobby is just as into her too.

On the fridge in the kitchen there are postcards from Zach's travels and from Alicia and Grace's pre-college tour. Dotted around the house are souvenirs from all over the world that Zach brought back, whilst Alicia and Grace's are centred more in the kitchen: African crystals scatter the light by the windows, needlework from South America hangs in Zach's bedroom, a tapas dish from Spain sits on the shelf in the kitchen, whilst the fruit bowl was from Italy.

In the living room there are two other photos worth noting. One is of a mother and her son, Kazue and little Josh, Will's godson. Both look well, happy. The photos taken before this one were of Kazue giving her son a big kiss on his cheek as he pulls a face, and then of Josh wiping his face as his mom laughs. The one in the Gardners' home is just of the two of them smiling, son in front, his mom's arms wrapped round him. He's got a trouble-maker's grin, and grass stains on his jersey: his school soccer team just won the regional championships for their age group. His dad is taking the picture, and yet his mom is completely at ease, unworried, smiling and relaxed. No regrets.

The other picture is just Kazue herself, on a beach somewhere exotic in the world. The sun is going down, and the pink light plays over her tan skin, her turquoise bikini showing through the man's shirt she wears to protect from sunburn. She looks beautiful approaching the end of her thirties, youth still being honest and not pretending to be younger. She smiles at the camera, happy, content.

Even those who know Kazue rarely guess who took the picture. Most think it's a family photo, maybe taken by her son, her husband if they don't know her at all. No one ever guesses that she was smiling at the man whose shirt she's wearing, the man who got the current president into the White House and turned down a place in the West Wing to return to Chicago. The relationship between Eli Gold and Kazue Natsu-Harris is no secret, but it's never been formally announced, so few actually know about it. Both have worked too long in PR to not make statements. Besides, what would they announce?

They both know what they want for now, both know what the other wants. Kazue wants to do well at her job, continuing to work at Peter Florrick's PR manager, wants to pick up her son from school on time, have fun with her girlfriends every now and then, enjoy tea and cake with her ex-husband's new wife whilst babysitting their kids, and at some point install new curtains in Josh's bedroom, they're looking a bit shabby and babyish now. She wants to spend time with her lover outside of her family home, washing every day stresses away over dinner, a drink or a movie, being naked and feeling sexy and not caring or worrying half as much about life for a bit in his company. Kazue doesn't kid herself that it won't last that way, that eventually things will either end or get serious, but for now, not being too serious about things is precisely where she wants to be.

Eli on the other hand has fulfilled his greatest ambition: he got a good man - a friend, even - back into the State Attorney's office, he went to the Capital and got another good man into the White House. He has a daughter fully grown from a former marriage, a daughter he knows he can take little credit for her upbringing, but nonetheless makes him considerably proud, despite her strange adventures in the world. And somehow he met his equal and fell in love with her. The fact that his equal is a younger, incredibly beautiful woman is just the icing on an amazing cake. She has her own life, doesn't _need_ him, and yet wants him all the same.

Even Eli Gold, one of the most seemingly self-assured of men in his game, is chuffed and humbled about that.

As well he should be, because regardless of what he or she thinks or doesn't think, says or hasn't said, they are undeniably 'together' in far more senses of the word than they were before. She has her own clothes drawer at his apartment and a spare toothbrush in his bathroom. They have arguments, actual arguments over the things they don't like and don't have to just accept any more. They make-up, talk and compromise, _make-up_. They talk on the phone when she can't come round because of work or commitments for Josh, rather than sulk over a missed booty-call. And they have an anniversary, a few days after her birthday, which they do celebrate by re-enacting the circumstances, though not at his office any more. They even arm-in-arm as they walk down the street together, and it goes without saying that if either need a date for an event, they need not look elsewhere.

Every time Alicia sees either of them she shakes her head with amusement, as does her husband. She can't believe that they've lasted so long. She no longer bets when it will end, there's so little certainty now that it will. Perhaps when little Josh is not so little any more, or when Eli finally grows up and accepts that if he wants all of Kazue in his life, he can't just have her, but all of the people she loves too. It'll have to happen at some point. Every time she sees them together she marvels just how much he resembles a son of a bitch totally and utterly in love. She marvels at how happy Kazue is too, bickering and bantering over their conflicting views, bringing out the strength in both their personalities. And then Alicia smiles, not envying them. Life gave them their happy endings, but continues to write an epilogue far more interesting than 'they lived happily ever after'. Life is still complicated and on-going, and she wouldn't change that for anything.

It's dawn now in the Gardners' home. They sleep soundly, the wife curled into her husband's side who instinctively leans towards her. The sheets hide whether or not they're wearing any clothes, though judging by the clothing scattered over the floor, it would be fair to assume not.

Will Gardner slowly wakes, groans softly as he senses how early it is. He smiles at Alicia's peaceful face, slowly extracts himself, replaces himself with his pillow and watches for a moment as Alicia, still sound asleep, hugs the pillow, finding comfort in the smell. He finds his boxers, goes and pees, ignoring proper consciousness, and gets back into bed on his wife's other side, spooning her back, goes back to sleep with his nose buried in her hair as she leans back into him, away from the substitute pillow.

It's a Saturday. Neither are expecting work to call urgently. They can sleep a little longer, stay in bed, make love, and worry about nothing that exists outside of that bedroom. Eventually they'll get out of bed, make breakfast. Will can get a paper and groceries whilst Alicia works on her notes for Diane. Then later they can get ready to make dinner for their friends tonight, and catch up on life. It's going to be a big crowd tonight: Will and Alicia, Grace, Peter potentially with a date, Diane and her on-again, off-again lover Kurt, Kalinda, Cary at Kalinda's request (apparently they're 'friends', whatever that means, Kalinda continues to be 'private' as always), Kazue and Eli, Josh, Charlie, Liam and Julie. Kazue promised she'd come round early to help with the cooking, and Liam promised he'd deliver some extra chairs and a long table from the restaurant too.

But for now it's just them. At home. Their home, finally defined.

* * *

**Ahhh, all done. Many thanks to all my readers and reviewers, and to all those who read and review this last installment. I hope this wraps things up, and that it's not horribly cliche or icky. I don't need to write more for this, I hope that everyone else's imagination can continue this little alternate fiction.**

**Hope this finds you all well :-)  
**


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